Sunshine and Rainbows

I never knew......

2010-02-04T10:56:00.000-05:00

Today I decided to play along with Mama Kat's workshop. Of course I chose the prompt about being a Mommy.....

List 10 things you never knew until you were a mom.
I never knew........

1. true unconditional love

2. I would say some of the same things that my mom used to say

3. How much fun it would be to play Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy. I LOVE it!

4. That looking at your child and being happy could cause you to cry. Happy Tears!!

5. you could live life through someone else. M's spirit is so catching and makes me feel alive and child-like at times.

6. I would become less selfish. M comes before anything and I love that feeling.

7. that I wouldn't mind cleaning up after her when she got sick or rocking her like a baby even though she's 8 yrs old just because she doesn't feel well.

8. That every decision I made/make from the day she was born will also affect my baby girls life. This one is hard for me!

9. I am shaping an adult and that scares me sometimes!

10. That I could be mad at little kids over them hurting my baby's feeling. Yet I hide it and give M the tools she needs to work through her friendship problems. Who knew little kids had drama?

I love being a mom.....the good, the bad and the ugly.

Back by popular demand.......

2010-01-27T20:57:00.000-05:00

I know you have been wondering where I've been and what I've been doing. The curiosity has been killing you, I realize this.
(ok, so it was only 2 people who requested I blog again, lol)

Hmm what's new with me? I have only blogged once since Christmas and that was about Spam. exciting stuff right there!

The last thing I talked about was my step daughter wanting to live with us. That took some horrible wrong turns and was a huge roller-coaster ride for my family. We just wanted what was best for her.....her mother pulled some tricks and has forever damaged the parenting bond her and The Husband had. They had never had a 'fight' over the kids before. It was great to have it happen over the holidays. This past weekend the other step daughter said she wanted to live with us one week and her mom the other. We aren't even telling her mom about it. These girls can't go back and forth and need to realize what they are saying. People get hurt over what is just simple words.

Enough of that. I've lost 8lbs. Yay me, right? It only took me 1 yr. lol The wii fit has a graph that I decided to look at last week. I went back to last January and saw the loss. I was very happy. So happy I ate McDonalds that night! Seriously though, I'm not even trying to lose weight now. I dont exercise but I have cut back on my soda. I used to drink 2 per day and now I only drink 1. I think it helps that I'm not sitting at a desk all day snacking away. I did that a lot when I was working.

Speaking of.......I am very hopeful that I will get a job soon. We will talk more about that later though. I know you can't handle too much of my words after not having them for a month.

Spam?

2009-12-27T18:04:00.000-05:00

I have been blogging for over a year and have never encountered Spam until this past month. It started off one here or there but now it's a little obnoxious and I'm wondering if I should start moderating comments. I really didnt want to do that. Why would someone spam? Seems kinda pointless to me?!?!

just a random thought.........

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T21:10:00.001-05:00

I hope everyone has a very merry day!!

Liquid Plumber--Foaming Snake

2009-12-18T19:51:00.000-05:00

This is a product review but I'm not getting anything to do it.....just passing along some info.

Our upstairs bathroom sink has had a slow drain to it. Like when you brush your teeth the water would build up and take awhile to go down.

I tried baking soda and vinegar and that worked for a bit but it would always go back to being slow again.

I tried the Draino stuff and that did nothing.

Last week I bought this Foaming Snake stuff by Liquid Plumber and it worked great! Haven't had any problems since. So if you ever have a slow drain make sure to try this!

(just saw the commercial which reminded me to pass on the good product review)

Are you surprised on Christmas morning?

2009-12-09T23:13:00.000-05:00

I am a picky person, I know this about myself. This is nothing new.

I always know all gifts that I am getting and sometime it sucks.
For my birthday The Husband gives me money and I always go buy new clothes. It's like my own little shopping spree and I enjoy the day.

This year for Christmas I am getting a ring wrap for my solitaire. I have wanted one for awhile and we found a deal that we couldn't pass up. I am also getting a few other things from him that I have picked out here and there.

I was talking to my mom on FB chat tonight and she asked me what color I liked best and gave me colors to chose from. I quickly said don't get me a Snuggie because The Husband already did. She said it wasn't a Snuggie but went on to tell me what it was!! I didn't want to know.

I can't wait to get my snuggie and randomness

2009-12-07T10:23:00.000-05:00

brrrr its so cold! Its only 21* out and I hate being cold. I am sitting here with pajama pants on, long sleeve shirt, hoodie, socks, slippers and a blank wrapped around me. The heat was set on 73 but I just turned it up to 74. The Husband bought me a snuggie for xmas.....maybe I should try it out to make sure its comfy???

This weekend we had our first snowfall and we got about 6 inches. That's pretty impressive for us. We used to get blizzards but the past few years we rarely get measurable amounts.

The cat is still driving me effin crazy with the tree. Next year he may live in the basement for the month of December.

This weekend we had a date night (supposed to be all weekend but the snow ruined that) we shopped Fri night, went to dinner and to a movie. This is only the second adult movie we have been to in 6 years. lol It was nice.

Saturday was my dads birthday so the day contained quite a bit of crying and sadness. I was hoping shopping would occupy my mind but the snow postponed that trip and we stayed home all day.

We have a busy week ahead of us and our first holiday celebration takes place this coming weekend. From now until Xmas we have some type of get-together/event every weekend.

Oh and I finally found a book that I can read. (I get bored with most) She's come undone.....I am half way through it and actually making time to read. love it!

Check out a new blog and maybe get THE toy

2009-12-04T10:22:00.002-05:00

by this point everyone has heard about Zhu Zhu pets. They are the 'hot item' this year. They have been compared to Cabbage Patch dolls......and we have all heard some crazy stories about people trying to get their hands on those ugly dolls. Same thing here except its a rodent.
I posted about them the other day and my frenzied search for them. I have not been able to find a gray one though so I thought I would enter this great giveaway over at Girlz A Soul Sista!

Go check it out and maybe enter to win too.

Have a great weekend. This is our last chance to shop together before Christmas....so The Husband and I will be doing that all weekend. Yay me, sucks to be him!

My cat snores

2009-12-03T15:09:00.000-05:00

and I love the sound of it. I had never heard a cat snore before.....or even knew they snored.

He is laying on the other end of the sofa and I can hear him.

He also loves to curl up on my lap and he nuzzles his head against something. He loves to have his eyes covered when sleeping. By the way, he is about 15 lbs now and quite bigger but he still tries to fit right in my lap.

I'm telling you all this because I love him and want you to know what a great cat he is...........

when he's not in the freakin tree!! I swear he is worse than a toddler with this year's tree. I may lock him in the basement until Christmas is over. (just kidding!!)

How do you decide what's best for a kid?

2009-12-01T20:23:00.001-05:00

I have been trying to write this post all day but I would either get sidetracked or just feel overwhelmed with the thought of writing all of this out.......but I feel like I need to. My mind is going a million miles and hour and has been since Sunday.

About 6 months ago my youngest step daughter, J kept saying she wanted to come live with us. Her first reasoning was because she missed school. She was pulled from school because my other step daughter was having problems. Problems=they thought she was smarter than the rest of the kids in her grade, which she kinda is (I've never met a kid who loves to learn like her.... and this is coming from a mom with a kid on honor roll.....but she has zero social skills) anyway school teaches you many more things than book stuff......like listening, manners, respect, friendship, etc. So she went to the principals office 2 times because of her and other kids not getting along or some such nonsense. The Husband and I do not agree with their homeschooling. He was not asked about it, BabyMama did it and told him later. J cried about it and was very upset that she had to leave her friends. She loved school! BabyMama lied to them and told them that they would get to go back and play with their friends. That never happened, like you can just do that but it sounded good to the girls.

Let me give you the dynamics of BabyMama's house:
J (the youngest who wants to live with us)
older step daughter
then BabyMama and Poppy (what they call their step dad) have 2 kids, age 3 and 1.
Poppy has a daughter that is 16 (her mom died in a car wreck a few years ago so she was forced to live with them)

Obviously with all these kids they need alot of room, so they built an addition on to their house to make their 3 bedroom home into a 5 bedroom. Except it didn't really give them anymore bedrooms because 1 is Poppy's office and 1 is the home-school room. Why Poppy's office and the homeschool room cant be the same room we don't know. He is a youth pastor so its not like he needs tons of space. This leaves the adults sharing a room, Poppy's daughter having her own room and 4 kids in 1 room. J has to share a bed with the 3 year old......this kid is hell on wheels! J says she never gets to sleep and she always has circles under her eyes. So the 1yr old is in her crib, those 2 share a bed and our oldest SD is on the top bunk. J voiced this to us as reason 2 and that's what started the whole talk. The Husband told BabyMama what J had told us and that she said she wanted to live with us so she could have her own bed. Here we have 4 bedrooms.....ours, M, guest room, and the 2 SD's have bunkbeds in their room. So BabyMama said she would work on getting them another bed. and that was that.............

until last weekend! the girls were here and J was INSISTENT that she was not going home, she lived here now, etc. She told everyone this. If you talked about something in the future she said well I will be living here then. M called me mommy and J said 'and you will be my new mom too because I live here'. We were not encouraging her but at the same time we don't want to tell her she cant live here. She is more than welcome here......sadly I love her as if she was my own while my other SD is more difficult and the bond is just not there. Dont worry I fake it for her! M and J are inseparable the whole time the girls are here. They play so good together and J just idolizes M. The look in her eyes when she looks at M shows me what sister love is all about. (I don't have a sister) She will tell you that M is her favorite sister.

Another of her reasons is because she has nightmares all the time at her mom's and never here. She has actually told both of us about this at different times and we didnt put it together until we were talking Sunday night.

The Husband asked J if she wanted to talk to her mommy about this and she said yes. He asked her what she thought BabyMama would say and she said she thinks it would be ok. J said she would miss her grandma but she would get to see her and BabyMama on weekends just like she does daddy. I swear she figured all this out herself! We were just in shock. So we go to drop them off and The Husband was just going to mention that they need to talk soon. When he said this J said yeah mommy, I want to live with daddy and she was sooo excited. The other SD speaks up and tells all about J saying she wasnt coming home etc. M and I were sitting in the car, we didnt expect this to happen. So Poppy gathers the kids into the van so the parents can talk freely since its already started. BabyMama is almost in tears hearing that her child doesnt want to live with her. The Husband told her everything and she said she thought it was just the bed issue and that part of their Christmas gift is going to be a triple bunkbed. (yikes) He tells her its more than that and names all of the things J has told us. I wont get into everything........our life is night and day from their life. We are fairly mainstream while they are very much like the Duggars. They don't have cable, tell the kids how they have no money, very-very hypocritical religious people, and live a VERY simple life. I am not saying there is anything wrong with their life but its just not ours. We like nice stuff and we like to do fun stuff!
This was all Sunday at 12:30.
Sunday at 4:42 BabyMama posted on FB----is sad...meloncholy...heartsick...blue...depressed...glum...troubled...distressed...at a loss...
monday-J called The Husband while he was at work so he asked her could he call her later. She asked her mom and was told yes. J told The Husband that she got to spend time with mommy this morning doing crafts.
The Husband called her back around 4pm and there was no answer. J called back a minute later and said she couldn't talk because they were going swimming in the indoor pool. Now as you saw I am FB friends with BabyMama and I know that she posts how they never actually go to the YMCA and their membership was a waste etc. It sounds like they are kissing up to her, which I guess is ok but we aren't going to change how we do things....its not a competition. We know that will get old and wont last.
I feel so helpless. We don't want to take a child away from her mother. We only want whats best for her but how do you decide what is best? She loves being girlie and I let her wear makeup in the house as long as we aren't going anywhere.......her mom will not let her do this. We feel like she is being stifled at her house......she cant be her. No one asked how she felt about going to school.
Ok now I am rambling and this is long enough. I don't think this will turn into a full custody dispute because its very important for The Husband that they get along.......but he wants whats best for her and her future........not the adults, just her.
It was last left at J would spend more time at our house without her other sister so that she could get a feel for being away from them. This isn't going to portray our real life though. We have school, sports, daycare.
There is just so much and its all I can think about, yet there is nothing I can do.

These damn Zhu Zhu pets!

2009-12-01T11:27:00.000-05:00

are going to drive me CA-RA-ZY!

Yesterday while in a different city taking my mom to a dr's appointment, I stopped by a ToysRus (ours went out of business) and the guy said the sold out that morning. ugh! I now that Target gets shipments on Mondays so I decided to run in there too. Nope. The sales lady said people line up at the door on days they get shipments......even though there is no guarantee that there will even be any of these rodents on the truck. People line up for nothing? They open at 8am and that's the time I take M to school or I would go waste my time too, just every now and then. ;)

Ok so rumor has it that these fake rodents will be making their debut at another store this Sunday. I told my mom and she said maybe we should check there. I said no, its not until Sunday. I come home and read that someone on a message board bought one at this store......not this exact store but the chain. The Husband is ready to camp out over night Saturday to be in line to get one of these things. So I called 3 stores last night.....1 said nope not ever selling them and don't bother calling the other stores (me thinks she is keeping them for her kids, lol) store 2 said yes we got an email saying we would sell them in December but haven't gotten any yet, store 3 asked what in the world these things are because everyone keeps asking about them.

Now today I am a tracker up in a window. This thing tells me when one is in stock anywhere on the internet. Its went off 3 times already this morning but when I click add to cart it says sold out. So I'm guessing everyone is using this tracker or they are only adding 1 fake rodent at a time.......its the same website that sells out in 1 minute.

All of this and she probably wont even play with this thing for 1 week.
The things parents do........

Day 20, 21, 22 and 23

2009-11-23T14:37:00.000-05:00

haha, I think about it but never make it around to doing it.

Friday- I was thankful for New Moon. LOVED IT! It was so much better than Twilight!

Saturday- I was thankful for getting alot of stuff done around the house. It seems that since I'm off I always think 'oh I can do that tomorrow' and then tomorrow becomes the next day etc. Really, like laundry and taking stuff back to the library. I am such a slacker since being a SAHM.

Sunday- I was very thankful to sleep until 10:30 am. TEN THIRTY! That was amazing. We did a little Christmas shopping for my step daughters and then had a nice dinner out. great day!

Monday- Today I am thankful for our cat. Really he is M's cat that we got for her 2 Christmas' ago. I love him so much!! He lays on my lap and curls himself up in a ball. He likes to hide his head when he is sleeping. AND he snores! I swear. I have never heard a cat snore before but he does!! He is so love-able and playful. I cant imagine our life without him......he brings us all so much joy. (and I'm not a crazy animal lover)

Day 18 and 19

2009-11-19T13:29:00.000-05:00

Day 18-
I am thankful for Firefox. I downloaded it because I liked the preview feature it offers. Honestly I don't use the feature that much but FF seems to run much faster than IE. I uploaded pics to FB yesterday in less than half the time it used to take me in IE.

Day 19-I am thankful for my Sedu flat iron. I love this thing. I use it almost every single day. The Husband bought it for me 3-4 yrs ago and it has been one of the best things he ever bought.....for me at least! My hair has a natural frizz to it....not enough for curl, just enough to be annoying. Its raining today so my hair is extra frizzy. Or it was until I flat ironed it. ;)

Have a great day!!

Day 16 and 17

2009-11-17T19:30:00.000-05:00

Day 16- I am thankful for my daughter. I know this is kind of a given for most people but it's extra special for people who struggle with Infertility. Sunday at the Cheer Exhibition I was overcome with emotion. I seriously thought I was going to cry, for no reason. The program hadn't even begun and I was just in awe of how brave my baby girl was. I was just so proud of her. My shy, tiny baby is now a blossoming young lady. She is an excellent student and always tries her best. All of her teachers love her. She put her all into everything she does. She just melts my heart! I may never have another baby but this baby sure does give me the warm fuzzies.

Day 17- I am thankful for headbands. I hate my new haircut. Really its just the extra layer she put in.......it drives me crazy!! So until it grows out my hair will have something in it, which is so unlike me!

This is part of Serenity Now's 27 days of Thankful.

Catch-up.....Day 13,14 and 15

2009-11-15T12:27:00.000-05:00

Apparently it is just too much for me to blog every single day. lol

Day 13, Friday-I am thankful for the love my daughter and step daughters share. Even though this isn't my ideal situation......something I thought my life would be.......when I hear them play and giggle it makes all the nonsense of blended families go away.

Day 14, Saturday-I am thankful for a beautiful day. I LOVE sunshine.....even if its not that warm. I love wearing sunglasses and just being outside.

Day 15, Sunday-I am thankful that my daughter will be cheering in her first Cheer Exhibition. We are so excited and full of energy today. A few more hours and she will be cheering in front of 1000+ people. My shy baby.......

Hope everyone had a great weekend! Gotta go curl M's hair!!!!!!

This is part of Serenity Now's 27 days of Thankful.

Writers Workshop- The Punishment

2009-11-12T10:30:00.003-05:00

My brother and I used to walk from the bus stop to our house. I remember many times my mom being there but I guess as we got older we were allowed to make the long trek home alone. This wasn't a typical bus stop/walk home like most people would think. This was mostly straight uphill and 1 mile long. Seriously sucky! I am 6 yrs older than my brother, which means my legs are longer and I could walk faster. lol

It seemed like he kept us going at such a slooooow pace. I would walk as usual and then have to stop to wait up for him.....like the good sister I am.

Speaking of being a good sister......Apparently one day I got tired of his slowness and tired of waiting around. What else is a girl to do? Like any normal person would do.....I picked up a rock and threw it in his direction. In his direction equalled hitting him square in the head. OH MY GOD. I was for sure that I just killed my brother and here we were in the middle of nowhere, no one around and blood is squirting out of his head. OMG. I was frantically apologizing, thinking this is my last words to him or something. So I rushed him down the driveway (we were halfway home) to the nearest neighbors house. I don't remember what happened after that until the point where we got him medical attention. I am still shook up and so sorry. My parents thought I needed to be really sorry, I guess. They made me sit in the room while he got his head stitched up. That was some serious punishment!

We both made it out alive.
I don't think I threw any rocks after that and he has no brain damage or anything.
Yikes!

This has been part of Mama Kat's Writer Workshop.

Day 11 and 12

2009-11-12T02:37:00.000-05:00

Day 11 is a follow up to day 10 when I went to M's school.
M and B have been friends since they were 2 yrs old. They both went to the same daycare and since entering school they have been in the same class for 2 years. I love hanging out with these girls! Madison doesnt call B her BFF.....B has a older sister who M calls her BFF but I would say its the other way around. Earlier this year I went on a field trip and had B in my group to chaperone. The girls were so happy! So while at school this week I kinda just sat back and watched them. I watched them whisper and giggle, I watched them make eye contact and not have to say a word, yet know what the other was saying. The teacher allowed B to go to the bookfair with me and M while the rest of the class went outside for reccess. When an adult came to the bookfair you could enter your child to win a poster.....so I entered both girls. Also, your child got a free bookmark and pencil.....I got one for both girls. I love these girls and their friendship! I kinda sat back and envisioned a life time full of friendship for them.
I am thankful my daughter has such great friends that she may know all her life!

Day 12- I am thankful for The Husband being home today. We lazed around this morning, went to lunch and did a tiny bit of Christmas shopping and browsing for ideas. It was very nice and unexpected! We went months without being alone and now this is the second time in days.

This is a part of Serenity Now's 27 days of Thankful.

Day 9 and 10

2009-11-10T09:38:00.002-05:00

Hmm this blogging every day isn't working out very well. lol I am thinking of my positives and what I am thankful for but I just don't make time to blog about it. I thought about not blogging last night while I was laying in bed. Oh well, combining days is better than not doing it at all.

Day 9- I am very thankful for the compliment the Cheer coach gave me about M. There are 2 coaches and I have become friends with 1 of them......the other is just more of a 'hi, how are you?' kind of thing. This coach came up to me out of nowhere and told me how great M is and how she is so good at cheerleading. The friend coach had told me before that M is 1 of 3 cheerleaders that are the best.....there are 16 girls on the squad. I am so proud of my baby. *I* didn't really want her to do cheer, this was something daddy suggested. I thought she would be too shy but that has not been the case at all. My kid really rocks!

Day 10- Today I am thankful for having the time to go volunteer at the book fair. M is always so excited when I will be at school......she may be driving her teacher crazy today by talking about it.

Head on over to Serenity Now for some more thankfulness!

Day 7 and Day 8

2009-11-08T21:02:00.000-05:00

I don't usually get on the computer much during the weekend and if I do I stick to Facebook and email. Soooo lets play a little catch up on my past 2 days of happy's.

Day 7- I am very thankful that The Husband and I could spend the day together. Alone. We haven't been childless since September when we went out for my birthday with friends. I love road trips so we got up early to start the big adventure. We dropped M off with my mom (its on the way) and traveled 2 hrs to a big Outlet Mall. People take tour buses to this place, which I found odd, but whatever. Anyway the car ride, being alone, holding hands and just trying our hardest to enjoy each other while we had alone time......it was so nice. We did some Christmas shopping so that's a plus! On the way home we stopped to eat and had the BEST dinner. I don't know if its because I was hungry or just because of having a good day.....yummo! We both got steak and loaded mashed potatoes. I'm not a huge steak eater but this was delicious! After dinner we went into a Target just to walk around......The Husbands idea!

Day 8- today we just kinda lazed around. We watched our first Christmas movie tonight. I love (and am thankful) for those quiet family times of snuggling together. It's so peaceful.

Hope you had a great weekend too! Head on over to Serenity Now for some more happyness!

Day 6 of being thankful

2009-11-06T18:00:00.000-05:00

Today has been more of a struggle coming up with the good but I'm here and doing it.

The day started off with me trying to get Taylor Swift tickets and they sold out in 5mins. I was on the site at 9:45am and the tickets didn't go on sale until 10am. The site locked up and by 10:05am they were all sold out. UGH!

The positive is that when I told M she wasn't upset. She didn't know about the concert until I told her this afternoon. It was going to be a Christmas gift.

Then I had an interview at 1pm and the pay (and hours) were laughable. I make more on unemployment!

The positive to this is that this was my first interview in 6 yrs so I am glad that I didn't waste it on a job I would be really interested in. I learned alot and will feel more comfy next time I have an interview.

Hope your weekend is off to a good start! Head on over to Sernity Now for some more happyness!

Day 5 of being thankful

2009-11-05T20:05:00.001-05:00

I have a good one today....actually a few.

I started the day off with dropping M at school and then off to Target I went. I got us some 75% off Halloween shirts for next year and a table runner. Love cheap stuff! I went to a few more stores and then went to get my hair cut. Last stop was grocery shopping. Usually I hate it but today was ok for some reason. Maybe it wasn't crowded or maybe I was just having a good day.
I am very thankful to shop without anyone. I know thats weird but I like to look at whatever I want to look at and just wander around aimlessly.
(There are times I like people to go along also)

To end the day......

I got a call for an INTERVIEW which will be tomorrow (Friday) at 1pm. I am not crazy over the hours at all. I was quite spoiled with my last job.....hours and money wise. I am just excited that I actually heard something from a job. I have even went back to double check that my phone # was correct on my resume after so long of no contact from jobs. Its that bad out there, people.
So I am nervous, excited, happy, scared, etc but most of all I am thankful for a chance to interview. I haven't interviewed in 6 yrs. wow.

Head on over to Serenity Now for some more happiness!

Day 4 of being thankful

2009-11-04T12:59:00.001-05:00

This morning I was asked to review some bad events that happened in June. You know... the miscarriage and my grandfather's death. Horrific, both of them.

Anyway, while updating this person I really realized what a great group of girls I know. I will probably never meet them because they live all over the country, and some in other countries. We have known each other for years, 8 years to be exact. When I joined a message board for Single Mom's on a popular site......I had no idea I would share my daughters whole life with them. Some of these girls were there when my daughter was a crazy fit throwing toddler, others helped me blend my family, some you just connect instantly with. I had no clue that they would know I was pregnant even before my mom did. They have seen me through good times and bad times, ups and downs, a crazy roller coaster ride of life and they still love me unconditionally. And I them.

I am so thankful to have these girls!!

Head over to Serenity Now and join in on the Happy thoughts!

27 days of Thankful (late to the party)

2009-11-03T18:55:00.001-05:00

While catching up with blogs today I saw this great post about counting to Thanksgiving by saying what you were thankful for each day. A few things made me jump on this little party....

1. This place hasn't been the happiest since my lay off so its about time we bring some more sunshine back in here.

2. I will really enjoy counting my blessings and listing happy things.....you know positive thinking and stuff.

3. Hopefully it makes me blog more.

4. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Thanksgiving so it will be nice to have a countdown.

Ok lets get started.

(catching up by thinking back)
Day 1- I was thankful for having a wonderful holiday weekend with my family.

Day 2- We had cheer practice, which gave me a reason to be out of the house and socialize. I am thankful for getting to know a few moms better.....they are great girls and our friendships will go beyond cheer.

Day 3- I am VERY thankful for the rave review that M's teacher gave at the Parent/Teacher conference today. 3rd grade has been a huge adjustment in our house for many reasons. M is still doing well and is in the top Math and Reading groups but its just harder for her. The teacher reassured us that the transition from 2nd-3rd is hard for many because in 2nd they are babied and 3rd they are on their own......they have more responsibilities. That will help us so much to work with M on being more independent. She is such a great kid, in school and out!

Head over to Serenity Now and join in on the Happy thoughts!

Ahh Sunday dinner and leftover

2009-11-02T11:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I made a roast in the crock pot and it was yummy, as usual. Love making this because I don't have to do anything yet it feels like we are having a big meal. I also made homemade mashed potatoes.....gravy and the whole nine yards. There wasn't much roast left over but there was alot of potatoes. Yum, I was looking forward to my 'comfort food' lunch on Monday. I put it in containers right after dinner but it was still too hot to put in the fridge.

See where this is going?

The first thing I see this morning is the 2 lovely containers still sitting on the counter. ugh. lol I have no idea how I missed them......I always turn on a light in the kitchen and double check the lock near the kitchen door before I go to bed.

Hope everyone had a great Halloween! We had a nice time, I dressed up and it was alot of fun, the kids got tons of candy (my thighs love this part). We didn't get to do the Haunted House because the fire dept that was hosting it held a memorial for a fire fighter who was killed in an awful crime earlier in the week. The kids didn't mind and it wasn't a second thought.

I love Holidays!

2009-10-30T13:21:00.003-04:00

I am sooo excited for all that the weekend holds. I am probably just as excited, if not more, than the kids!

Tonight we will start off by going to a Haunted House at the local Fire Dept with a friend and her son. I hope noone gets too scared but I think it will be tame. Its part of the towns festivities, which are for kids, so it should be low key. M has been getting into spookier stuff (thanks daddy) and has asked about going to a Haunted House. I was so excited when my friend mentioned it so I could fulfill her wish of scary stuff.

We will continue on to trick or treating at the town's businesses. They shut down Main Street and most of the businesses give out candy. Its super fun and we have done it for years. Remember I live in Small Town, USA so this is also a chance for M to see her friends all dressed up since most people attend this event. They also have games and a costume contest. Fun!

Dinner tonight will be Mummy Dogs and Halloween Cookies.....lol not sure of what else I am making. I'm currently looking online for a spooky side dish. Dinner will be made and ready to be re-heated when we come home tonight.

All 3 girls should be here by 3pm so we have an hour to get all costumed up.

Tomorrow night will be more trick or treating around our neighborhood. Its kind of alot of ToT but my step daughters don't get to participate in holidays so when we have them we go all out. Last year was the first year they ever dressed up (because it was our weekend).....their mom doesn't allow Halloween or Santa etc. If you know me than you know this is so laughable since I LOVE HOLIDAYS! I already have the Christmas spirit popping through. I strive to make every holiday special and full of spirit!! (if you hadn't noticed by my backgrounds changing with each holiday) Oh and I am dressing up tomorrow night too!!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

A little sleep HERE and a little sleep THERE

2009-10-26T12:11:00.000-04:00

then repeat.

The night started off going to bed at 10pm. We talked and finally fell asleep closer to 12.

M got up at 3am saying her side hurt and her tummy felt sick. So in my sleep deprived state I took her back to her room and laid in bed with her, rubbing her head and back. Dasher, the cat, usually sleeps with her and apparently I was not going to get in his way. M has a daybed....so I'm snuggled to her, with my legs curled and he lays right at the curl so I couldn't move my legs.

This went on for 2 hrs until 5am when The Husband was getting up. I don't remember hearing his alarm but when I went back to our bed he was getting dressed. I don't think I talked to him but I do remember my legs hurting. lol I get in my bed and stretch out. The Husband comes back to bed for a little snuggle and that's all I remember.

The alarm went off at 7:20 and I only hit it once. Little Miss M was still sound asleep but said she felt fine so I'm not sure what was up with her side/tummy.

I am a bed hopper.

Still not enough hours in the day

2009-10-23T20:56:00.000-04:00

When I lost my job, 1 1/2 months ago, I imagined having all the time in the world.......

I was going to have a spotless house
be able to participate in all kinds of bloggy things that I never had time for
work on all kinds of projects around the house
volunteer in M's classroom
keep up with reading blogs and my message boards

you get the point.
Yeah. Still no time.

Here is how my day goes now:

7:30-wake up after hitting snooze 2 times
8:05-walk M into school
8:15- home, back in PJ's, turn on Good Morning America and catch up on FB....maybe make something to eat
9:00- Regis and Kelly while looking around online for jobs
10:00- Dr Phil.....AND a few days this has been my nap time
11:00- get up and do SOMETHING because I feel bad that Ive been on the sofa since I dropped M off.
12:00- oh lunch time while watching the news and on FB to see if anything is new
1:00-maybe do laundry and actually send out the resumes to the jobs I scoped out earlier
2:00- misc
3:00-pick up M from school

this is a very typical day. I am sooooooooo much more disorganized now that I'm not working. I work much better when I have a routine and schedule. I even forgot the other day was a Spirit Day at school. I NEVER forget those kinds of things. I have a calendar with all my junk in it.....I don't even update that anymore.

Next week will be a new week and I will get back on track!

I miss....

2009-10-21T00:30:00.002-04:00

sleeping with my husband. It's 12:30 and he went to bed at 10pm. I am not one bit tired. When I was working we went to bed together and woke up around the same time too.

I realllllly miss that.

Yeah I could get up with him and try to stay up but I know that wont work. I would be back to sleep and miss taking M to school or something.

Need job. Miss my routine.

Yay Me, I won (and a BabyMama vent)

2009-10-16T15:36:00.001-04:00

The oh so cute Ashley had a giveaway recently and I WON! Go over to her blog to see my prize.....I picked the Edward one, of course. I may wear it to the midnight showing of New Moon. (I am debating this)

On to the BabyMama. I'm sure you know this is the step kids mom. The oldest came here with a HORRIBLE cough that I knew nothing about. I asked The Husband if he knew and he said yeah. Nice. This kinda changes our weekend plans since we will be sitting out in the 30-40 degree temps tomorrow and had the day planned out around all of us attending the game.
*I* don't want her sitting out in the cold. He didn't think of that. He's a guy though so we will let it pass.

Now her mother, yeah she should know better.......this is the 2nd round of antibiotics because the cough wont go away. No one can tell me what she was diagnosed with just that she has a cough and is on Amoxicillin.

Again, why do I care? Both girls came here in FLIP FLOPS. Its 42 degrees out today. Cold, misty, dreary, cold, and a miserable day. FLIP FLOPS. Maybe she can wear those while she sits outside tomorrow morning. *rolling eyes*

Sometimes its hard being a step mom and dealing with stupidity.
(I will save the story of 4 kids in 1 room for another day......that was a big topic last weekend.)

Pumpkin Apple Streusel Muffins

2009-10-12T20:53:00.000-04:00

these are SOOO yummy. Yummy like I can eat almost all of them myself. Yummy like I made them yesterday at dinner time and they are 1/2 gone by now. (I'm showing restraint or they would be all gone)

On to the recipe.....Oh, can you tell I love fall foods?

Pumpkin Apple Streusel Muffins

INGREDIENTS
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups white sugar
1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice (I was out so I used cinnamon and ginger..1/2 each)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup canned pumpkin puree
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 cups peeled, cored and chopped apple

Topping:
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
4 teaspoons butter

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease 18 muffin cups or use paper liners.
In a large bowl, sift together 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (I dont sift), 2 cups sugar, pumpkin pie spice, baking soda and salt. In a separate bowl, mix together eggs, pumpkin and oil. Add pumpkin mixture to flour mixture; stirring just to moisten. Fold in apples. Spoon batter into prepared muffin cups.
In a small bowl, mix together 2 tablespoons flour, 1/4 cup sugar and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Sprinkle topping evenly over muffin batter.
Bake in preheated oven for 35 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into a muffin comes out clean.

Go visit Tempt my Tummy Tuesday for more yummy food!
recipe from: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/pumpkin-apple-streusel-muffins/detail.aspx

18 years ago today....

2009-10-12T11:51:00.003-04:00

I lost my dad. I was always quite a daddy's girl until my parents started having marital problems and separated. I played the teen role of choosing who will let me party more. The lucky winner was my mom.

On this specific day, 18 yrs ago, I was in my room getting ready to go out. I had just turned 17.... 2 weeks before and thought I was too cool for the world. You know the teen attitude. My dad came to pick my brother up for visitation, he came in my room and tried to talk to me while I was getting ready. We had a little small talk and then he went to leave. He told me he loved me and I didn't say it back. At that time I had no idea that this moment would haunt me for the rest of my life.

He left, I went out, life continued as usual. Until 4am when someone called my mom and said that my dad had died. I can still envision the 15 min ride, going 100mph, to get to my dad because surely we could save him. My mom was a frantic mess.....they married young so she was only 36 and was now dealing with this. At my age now, almost the same age as her then, I just can not imagine having a teen, a tween and her husband dying.

I remember all of it yet at the same time it all seems like a blur. For years, even now sometimes, I couldn't even talk about my dad without crying. I missed him soooo much. It wasn't fair that my brother had to give me away at my (first) wedding. It wasn't fair that he hasn't been able to see his grandchildren. Its still not fair that my brother and I don't have a dad to go to. To talk to, to confide in, to get advise from, to go visit, to call, to love.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea to write.
I was fine until I started typing this and now I am crying.
It just hurts and it sucks.
I know plenty of people have lost their parents but I'm immature and like to stomp my feet and wonder why it had to happen to me.

(disclaimer: I'm not indulging in the whole story but wanted to say my brother was safe and sound when this event happened)

WFMW-Cleaning Edition

2009-10-06T23:46:00.000-04:00

I am a spreadsheet geek. Gotta have spreadsheets for everything. I don't know what I did before spreadsheets. I use them to track spending, when I coach soccer, for phone lists and for CLEANING. Yep, I said Cleaning.

I have a room tab and in there I list everything that I would like to do to that room and then I enter the date in another row....

Master Bedroom
dust
change sheets
clean ceiling fan and ceiling
purge clothes
file papers
touch up paint

You get the hint. I don't really use this for everyday kind of stuff. Its more for deeper cleaning so that I can keep track of when I last did something. Some of this stuff is done weekly, some is done monthly, etc. It may seem complicated but it works for me!
Go visit We are THAT family for more cleaning tips.

Fall Recipes

2009-10-06T10:37:00.001-04:00

Last week I made a delicious fall dinner! Some people on Facebook asked for the recipes so I thought I would share with everyone.

First off I made Spiced Pork Chops. We had never had any meat with cinnamon but thought it sounded interesting.

SPICED PORK STEAKS
6 boneless center loin pork steaks
2 tbsp. all-purpose flour
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ginger
1/4 tsp. nutmeg (I skipped because I didn't have any)
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 tbsp. butter
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
Trim and discard all exterior fat from each pork steak. On a piece of wax paper, combine flour, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, salt and pepper. Dredge pork in flour mixture.
In large skillet over medium heat, saute pork steaks in butter and oil, turning occasionally until browned and cooked through, about 20 minutes. Makes 6 servings.
found here: http://www.cooks.com/rec/doc/0,1827,152162-251197,00.html

Then continuing with the fall-ish theme I made Baked Apples for the first time. I have had them one other time and The Husband said he likes them. Friends of ours own, who own an apple orchard, had just given us a bag of apples so this worked out well. This recipe had a little more of an apple crisp taste due to a little doughyness (made up word) from the flour.

BAKED SLICED APPLES
4 c. sliced apples
1 c. sugar
3/4 c. flour
1 stick butter
1/2 c. water
Pinch of salt
Dash of cinnamon
Place apples in baking dish 9x13. Mix sugar, flour and butter until crumbly; sprinkle over apples. Add water, salt and cinnamon. Bake at 350 degrees until done and slightly brown.
Yields: 12 servings.
found here:http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1813,150184-236205,00.html

Then to top it off I made some Pumpkin Muffins for dessert. This is the easiest thing to make and we love them. They are very low in calories too....so plus for moms! I had to search for a recipe to post because its really only 2 ingredients so I just mix and go. You can also use any type of cake mix. This time I used Devils Food.

2 Ingredient Pumpkin Muffins
18 ounces spice cake mix
15 ounces pumpkin (not pumpkin pie mix)
Directions
Simply mix the pumpkin and the spice cake mix together until well combined.
Spoon into paper lined small muffin/cupcake tins, 2/3 full. (The batter is very thick and doesn't "settle", so you may wish to smooth the tops if you care what the finished product looks like!).
Bake at 350* 18-22 minutes or until a knife comes out clean. (130 calories each)
found here: http://www.recipezaar.com/2-Ingredient-Pumpkin-Muffins-260781

Hope you enjoy as much as we did! For other recipes go visit Tasty Tuesday and Tempt My Tummy Tuesday.

A little happiness.....

2009-10-02T13:12:00.000-04:00

surprise, surprise! lol

M did a paper at school that just melts my heart so I thought I would share it with you. I copied it just as she wrote it (except her name, of course) even the punctuation and spelling.

My full name is xxxx
I was born on Sept. 6, 2001
My favorite subject at school is Music
If I could go anyplace in the world it would be Pariss. (lol dont know where that came from)
When I grow up I want to be a vetrinarian
My favorite animal is dog
A hobby I enjoy is Watching T.V.
My favorite meal is Mac&Cheese
The best thing about me is I'm just like my mom!
The next best thing about me is Two cool sister
I think I am really good at writing
I think I need to improve at tieing my shoes

Writers Workshop-Finding Bliss

2009-10-01T09:24:00.000-04:00

This week MamaKat has some great prompts to write about. I could have chose any of them but since I've been mentally exhausted lately I thought we should go with that theme.

My regular readers just clicked the little red X.

The Prompts:
4.) Have you found your bliss? What path did you take to get there? or are you still searching

I am still searching with the help of the greatest husband alive. God bless him and his patience!

I like to have hormonal pity parties and cry about how I don't have this or that. I like to rant and rave about the smallest things. Lately I have turned into a miserable monster.

In the past 3 months I have lost my job, lost a baby and lost my last grandparent. These things really do suck but there isn't anything I can do to bring any of this back. Nothing. If I could I definitely would but its just not possible.

I have to remember that some stuff is out of my control and that's hard for me.
I have to remember that everyone does not have to do things the way that I want them to do it.
I have to remember that everything doesnt have to be perfect.
I have to remember that life does not revolve around me.
I have to remember that I may have been spoiled as a child but real life isn't like that. People don't have to just do things......*I* have to work for it. Just as I work at being a great mom, I need to make that attempt at life.
I also have to remember to keep a positive attitude and squash the negative thoughts. This is such a battle sometimes and it is exhausting but its very important.

There are many things that I want to change about life right now and only I can do it. I like to preach to people that they are the author of their own book......noone else can write it for them. I should really practice what I preach.

Better days are waiting for me.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-09-30T08:59:00.002-04:00

Head over to these blogs to see more Wordless Wednesday..... Three Peas in a Pod and Wordless Wednesday

Homemade Beef Stroganoff

2009-09-29T09:17:00.001-04:00

Head on over to Balancing Beauty and Bedlam to check out some great recipes for Tasty Tuesday. I found this recipe years ago and thought it was a great variation to the Hamburger Helper I had been making. Around this time I decided to expand our menu and make more homemade food. We love it and I hope you enjoy too!

INGREDIENTS
1 (12 ounce) package egg noodles, cooked and drained
1 onion, chopped (I use onion powder because I dont like onions...this means I skip the butter too and just season the ground beef with the powder)
1/4 cup butter
2 pounds lean ground beef
4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups beef broth
1 cup sour cream
salt and black pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS
Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Cook egg noodles in boiling water until done. Drain.

Meanwhile, prepare the sauce. In a large skillet, cook onions in 2 tablespoons of butter over medium heat until soft; remove from pan.
Using the same pan, melt remaining butter. Cook ground beef in melted butter until browned. Mix in flour. Stir in beef broth, and cook until slightly thickened. Add onion mixture; stir in sour cream. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Continue cooking until sauce is hot, but not boiling. Serve sauce over egg noodles.

A battle in the mind

2009-09-28T11:59:00.000-04:00

So last night when I was wide awake at 1am I thought about blogging. And then I thought about not blogging. That made me think about what I really wanted to do with this blog. As you all know I am in the middle of a nervous breakdown. I feel like I have no control over anything and I don't like it. I have insomnia. I've never had insomnia....I am a sleeper. Sleepers don't lie awake hours after the rest of the house has gone to sleep. Sleepers don't lay on the sofa at 1am watching mindless TV.

So right now I am trying to decide if I want to keep this blog all sunny or if I want to make it real life. I am leaning towards making a private blog and just saying what I need to say and hoping the answers come to me through my writing. The only problem with that is.....I'm talking to myself and I barely keep up with this blog. It would be non existent if I started another one.

Yet another life decision. ha! (as if they were all that easy)

Happy Birthday to ME!! (and a special gift)

2009-09-23T19:17:00.000-04:00

Another year older, another year wiser....right?

My mom took the day off work and we went shopping. We had planned to go further away but I had to be back to get M from school so we went where my mom lives. We just kinda browsed the stores. I have birthday money to spend and couldn't find anything I liked. Isn't that how it always is? I wont even tell you about me searching every store in this city for a pair of jeans. That would take way too long ;)

We had lunch and just talked. This was the first time my mom and I have been alone....just me and her since Madison was born. It was nice. I came home and The Husband ordered pizza (we will go out this weekend for a nice dinner) and he (and M) also made me a cake. Red Velvet, my fave!!

Now lets talk about something special.

To cut to the story.....my mom was by my grandfathers side every second in his last week. Remember I was having a miscarriage that week so I wasn't there and it still hurts me that it happened that way. So he died on June 5 and my mom was talking to him about how my nieces birthday was June 10 and she would take him to her house so he could celebrate with us. At this point we didn't think he would die. He literally took a turn for the worse in 12 hrs and that was it. So they are talking about birthdays and he said Helen's birthday was July something......Helen is a little old lady that he met in his assisted living apartment where he lived after my grandma died. Then the conversation went on to M's birthday and my birthday being in Sept, etc. Later on my mom was going to the gift shop and my grandpa told her to get a birthday card. My mom bought it and gave it to him.....the whole time she is thinking it was for Helen.

It was for me. And she saved it for me until today. It wasnt for M, it wasnt for Helen, or my cousin who has a birthday a day before me......it was for me.
Inside it says.....
Lil,
Happy Birthday
Love, Grandpop

The Lil part is because my grandparents ALWAYS called me Lily. Noone knows why, they just did and it was special to me. I can still hear my grandmother saying Lil in my head all the time and she died 5 yrs ago. Lil upset me more than getting the card. He also put his last money he had in his wallet in the card. I feel like I should spend that on something special.

I didn't open the card until I got home because my mom told me it would upset me. She was right.....I cant think about it without fighting tears. I miss my grandparents so much!!
I also have a strong need to have a little girl so I can name her Lily.
sigh.

Party Update

2009-09-22T00:24:00.000-04:00

I know you guys are just on the edge of your seats waiting to hear how the party went. I planned to write this yesterday but the days are getting away from me.

Ok so when we left off it was only Ava coming. The original plans were for the party to just be M's friends and no cousins/sisters/family....just a few friends and mommy and daddy. Well when we saw only Ava was coming we decided that the stepkids would go also. That involved some planning with their mom and switching things around. Ok done.

Until Friday night at 9pm when Brandi and Tanya (sisters) mom calls and says they will be coming. She had told me earlier that she wasn't sure because they had alot of stuff going on that day. Didn't expect her to wait until the last minute, I assumed they weren't coming. Ok, not happy because it just messed up stuff and now we would have to take 2 cars because the stepkids had to go home right after the movie. I got over it because these are M's BFF's and we would make it work.

I order tickets online that night....afterall there is only a few short hours until the party begins. It was opening weekend and I didn't know if it would sell out. We never go to movies right when they come out so I wanted to make sure we got in.

Great, done.

Get up Sat am and get ready for M's first time cheering. 3 kids up, fed, dressed, hair pretty and out the door at 11am but wait......I have a missed call on my phone that I notice as we are walking out the door. (note my new cell doesn't ring loud enough for me!) I listen to the message and its Hannah's mom saying that Hannah couldn't decide if she wanted to come to the party or not and she just decided that morning that she wanted to. OH REALLY? I was not happy. I also know that Hannah was only coming because Tonya decided to come (these 2 are drama-ish mean girls that I don't really like but tolerate).....so I am ranting and raving on the way to the game. I was Team Mom at the game which means I had to take all the little girls to the bathroom if they had to go....so again preoccupied. Let's not forget The Husband and 2 step kids that I am trying to enjoy the game with while being proud of my shy baby cheering!

Hannah's mom had called again. I tell The Husband that I need to call this woman back so she doesn't bother me. He said not to worry about it that I am busy etc. We get home at 1pm and kids are to arrive at 1:30. 1:40 and the sisters get here. Movie starts at 2:20 and we have a 20 min drive.

Ok we are waiting for Ava. Car pulls up and we are ready to leave. Oh wait, its not Ava....its HANNAH! WTF? I was not in the mood for this and these people were kinda ruining my day. So I had to be a Witch. I go out and I'm like uh hi. The father says blah blah the mother had called several times and I corrected him by saying she called 2 times that morning (she was right there in the car) and we were at Cheer. I told him that since they didn't RSVP I didn't have a ticket for Hannah. He asks if he can give me money for her ticket. Smoke is coming out my ears at this point because this family is acting so entitled......the kid decides hours before the party and the dad wants to buy her in while the mother is sitting in the car just staring at me through the window? UGH. It was not about the money. I told him I didn't know if it was sold out and I couldn't risk taking her and not getting her in. It was a very awkward confrontation and I was glad to see Ava's mom pull up. I went to get stuff from her and she saw what was going on. She kept telling me not to feel bad because they didn't RSVP......the kid is right in the car and I'm sure she thinks this is all MY fault she isn't going.

This is long enough.....they gave me a card and said they would just go. We got to the movies right as the previews were ending so we didn't miss anything. M got to pick where she wanted (up front, blah) and had a good time. I cried during the movie because I was emotionally exhausted. Got home, kids played, opened gifts, felt bad that Hannah gave a $20 gift card.....furious these parents put me in this position. Kids left, Ava stayed for dinner and left at 7pm.............best of all.............

M told me at the end of the day that I was the best mommy in the world.
(I still feel bad though)

Busy Weekend ahead!

2009-09-18T11:19:00.000-04:00

Today I am cleaning....ok well right now I am watching The View because Kate (J+K+8) is on....but there is cleaning going on today.

Day 2 of Unemployment is going better than Day 1. Yesterday it kinda hit me that this was for real. The control freak in me really didn't like that. So I cried. What else is there to do? :)

So the stepkids come over today then in the morning M's first game is at 11:30 so we need to be ready to leave by 11am. I am soooo excited to see her cheer tomorrow. We should be home by 1pm, luckily, because her party starts at 1:30pm. You know the party that STILL only 1 person RSVPed too. We wont even talk about that though. I am sad for her and pissed off at the stupid parents. RSVP means say yes or no, either way. Idiots. This is like 5 different parents. U-G-H.

Ok back on track.....party at 1:30, leave for movies that start at 2:20. Take stepkids home so they can go to church Sunday am. Sunday we will pick them up from church on our way to a family cookout/get together that is an hour away.

Ramblings

2009-09-16T12:28:00.000-04:00

In about 2 hrs I will be unemployed. I'm leaving around 2:30 to pick Madison up from school. I have already reduced her hours at daycare to part time. She will go 2 days a week in order to keep her spot. She really enjoys getting up later....no more 5:50am for her, now its 7am or even later! We may have to tell the cat whats going on though. The Husband leaves around 6am for work and we would all be up by that time anyway. Welllll the cat didnt get the memo that M and I dont have to get up that early anymore. This morning after The Husband left he was doing anything he could to make noise and wake me. On my dresser, on my bed, batting things around. I took my pillow to swat him away. (Dont worry I didnt actually hit him!)

Tomorrow I will drop the child off at school and then head to Target to waste time until my dentist appt at 10:45.

I need to clean the house and the car before Saturday in case any of these kids show up to the party. GRRR! The 1 is coming, 1 said they couldnt, 2 were a maybe but then yesterday on the field trip one of the sisters said the reasons they maybe couldnt have came was cancelled soooo who knows, then we have the 2 other last minute invites I sent out......1 keeps asking if she can bring her older sister. Uh no! Havent heard anything from those parents.

PSA: Please RSVP to parties!!
(I will keep you updated, for sure!)

I have the sadz

2009-09-13T18:27:00.000-04:00

and they just wont go away.

I have 2 more working days until I am unemployed. Yeah, yeah its good because I may find a job that I like but it still sucks. Something happened on Friday that really upset me at work but I'm not even gonna waste my energy to type it and bore you. I just want to be done and get on with the next chapter of my life.

I don't do change.

Ive talked about this before but it still bothers me that I don't have a BFF. I miss my old one who chose the party life. The one who wants to call herself my BFF....I just don't connect with her for many reasons. We are friends but it just isn't there. So why do I get all jealous when she is talking on FB to another friend about hanging out. I push people away and I want to stop doing that but I haven't met anyone lately that I click with.

Madison's party is Saturday. Oh good, we aren't having it around her Sept 6 birthday so she will be in school longer and it will work out better. Uh yeah, wrong. First she is having it at the movies and we are seeing Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.....they STILL haven't released the showtimes yet. I just asked for the kids for 4hrs and we will work around a time and they can play the other time. OK whatever, the invites go out with the 4hr time. 2 sisters haven't said no but its 90% they aren't coming because they have a game that day, a cousin party and their sister's birthday was to go to the movies that evening. Just say no already....ugh. Hannah probably wont come because one of the sisters is the only one she knows.....haven't heard from her mom yet. Ashton's mom called today and said they were going out of town that weekend to see a football game. She was allowed to invite 5 girls because, including herself, that would be all that would fit in my Pilot. Ava is coming and that's it. That makes me sooooo sad for her. I am sending in 2 more invites tomorrow to 2 other little girls. Who cares if they only have a weeks notice. What are they going to say? No wont hurt anything at this point.

AF is due Friday so I'm sure thats contributing to my sadz but good grief......I just feel like I'm in a transition stage of life and have no idea where to go or what to do. I hate not being in control.

Add to that the fact that we had company today and an ADORABLE 3 mo old baby girl was at my house most of the day. I wanted her.

Always go with the first answer...

2009-09-12T08:53:00.001-04:00

I weigh myself on the Wii every 2 weeks, on Saturday morning before I eat anything. Its just a automatic thing I do now....pee then Wii.

So on this lovely Saturday morning it said I LOST 9.9 LBS!! 9.9, that's like 10lbs.

Hmm this sounds good but I knew it was too good to be true. I haven't been exercising since school started.

I get on again to weight myself and it tells me that there is an object on the board (or something) because it is detecting a 10.6 difference.

HA!

I should have stopped the first time and bragged for the next 2 weeks about the 10 lbs I lost. Sure I would have been sad in 2 weeks to see a huge gain but.....one day at a time, right?

9-11

2009-09-11T08:02:00.000-04:00

On this day, 8 years ago, I was holding a 5 day old baby in my arms.
She got up for her bottle, I made it and sat down to feed my tiny little bundle of joy. I turned on the TV and started watching something like Good Morning America.
Then it happened!
Breaking News!!
I watched as the country was in Awe and Shock of what just happened. As I'm watching I see the second plane hit. OMG surely I just didn't witness that. All those people, the families, the people in the city. I cried and cried. I hugged my newborn tightly as I wondered what kind of world I just brought her into.

I will never forget.

Healthy Role Model

2009-09-09T09:24:00.001-04:00

Amber is hosting EM:ME again this week and her question is....

How are you being a healthy role model for your children?

(I am also linking this up to Works for me Wednesday over at We are that family because the tip at the end does work for me)

Within the last year I just started watching what I ate and looking at calories.....before I was "That Girl" that could eat whatever she wants. (no that's not why I picked my name) In the beginning I really tried to not talk about weight or dieting in front of M. She is an impressionable little 8 yr old that does not need to worry about that kind of stuff. Since she loves to be right by my side at all times she did see me looking at calories and was intrigued by the new scale. I had never owned a scale in my life but for some reason I just needed to know how much I weighed. I do regret buying it and see it going in the yard sale pile. I can weigh myself on Wii Fit, if needed.

So I slowly began to be more careful until she realized I wasn't worried about it anymore. Or so she thought. I do still look at calories but only when I know she isn't looking.

Over the summer I started a new thing to try to get M to eat healthier. She doesn't like fruits or veggies. (I don't do cooked veggies....mush factor) I cant say that she doesn't like the stuff its more that she isn't willing to try it. I began eating more things like squash and just trying new things to set an example for her. I told her that when we went grocery shopping she could pick a fruit or veggie to try and that she had to eat it before she could get a snack in the evening. She didn't really enjoy it but now she knows what squash, watermelon, and cucumber taste like. She also ate her regulars of apples and bananas. She didn't have to eat alot, just enough for me to see she actually tried it. Like 1 cucumber slice each night for a whole week. Oh yeah each new item lasted for a whole week. In the past few weeks I have been kinda lax on this with school and cheer starting.....this is a reminder to get back into it.

I want her to grow up and be a healthy young lady!

Not enough hours in the day....

2009-09-07T21:19:00.000-04:00

give me a few weeks of being unemployed and that may change. I may be bored out of my mind.

I haven't checked in on any blogs since Friday....its now Monday night and I don't see me having time to catch up.

I want to blog.
I have lots to blog about.
I just can not find the time to actually do it.

M is going on week 3 of 3rd grade. I think this may be the toughest year yet. She has always gotten straight A's and been an excellent student. This year they change classes for some subjects and she doesn't like her Math teacher. Shes never not liked a teacher but she said this one is very strict. It may be an interesting year. It is taking quite a bit of time to do her homework each night also. There is a mandatory reading of at least 20 mins, 6 days a week. She has already had a Social Studies test too. I don't think they are playing around this year. lol

Add on to that her cheerleading that started last week. Practice is 2 nights a week and a game every Saturday. They will compete in competitions in Nov. At the beginning of the first practice she was doing the moves but not saying anything. I mouthed to her that she needed to talk also.....by the end of the practice she was doing it all. I was very proud of her and she loved it! When she entered Kindergarten she wouldn't even look at you she was so painfully shy.....so this is HUGE!

We had our family party this weekend for The Husband, M and my step dad. The Husbands birthday was Friday but we had already celebrated it the weekend before. Sunday was M's birthday and the highlight of her day was not riding in a booster seat anymore. OMG she thought she was 16 or something. We have a family tradition of the birthday person picking where they want to eat and she picked Applebee's. Long gone are the days of McDonald's......

I said:

2009-09-04T08:28:00.000-04:00

you do what you have to do.....sex cant always be fun.

As if he didn't already know that. When you want a baby you will even stand on your head.

(this makes me giggle today)

There's something wrong with this.....

2009-09-02T08:09:00.000-04:00

So The Duggars can have NINETEEN kids and I cant even have TWO? (biological)

what the?

Religion or no religion these people are a bit much. It doesn't seem like they plan on stopping either. Wow! I bet she has to be on bedrest the whole pregnancy or else the baby would just fall out. *I know that wasn't nice*

It's a par-tay!

2009-09-01T19:09:00.000-04:00

all month of September will be filled with lots and lots of birthday parties. Sounds exciting huh? Not really, its actually kind of draining.

4- The Husband
5-cousin
6- M
8- stepfather
15-grandfather....this will be the first birthday since he died so I wanna try to be with my mom
16- M's aunt
18-my friend
19-another friends husband
22-cousin
23-mine and my aunt got married on my birthday so its also their anniv.
30-another friend
you get the point! Its a good thing I wont have a job in 9 more days! ;) (I laugh now but may cry later)

So there you go, that's the reason for the Happy birthday background. I know you were wondering. lol

FMM-Organization

2009-08-31T12:57:00.001-04:00

Amber is hosting Friend Making Monday over at her blog so after you are done here you can go on over and check out what everyone else has to say today. If you are coming from Amber's, welcome and come back again!

1. Do you cook every night?

I cook every week night. We eat out on Fri and Sat nights and then I make a big dinner on Sunday.....like homemade bread and everything kind of dinner.

2. What kind of laundry detergent do you use & why?

I use Purex Free and Clear (or something like that.....M and I are allergic to alot of soaps)

3. Do you do laundry every day or loads at a time?

I have actually been very bad at laundry lately. I only do it 2 times a week. Once during the week, if needed and then again on Sunday. Can you tell we don't do much on Sundays? lol

4. How often do you eat out per week?

see #1

5. Where do you usually eat out?

We like variety......Mexican, Thai, pizza, steak, seafood, local little places

6. What is your favorite retail store?

I am a Tarjay girl. I love Kohl's too!

7. What's your favorite thing to drink?

Mt Dew

8. Do you take vitamins? What kind?

I do take a multi vitamin for women. Its supposed to promote fertility.....I read about it on a message board so it has to be true, right?

9. What percentage of the household chores to you do?

55% (gotta get that extra in there! lol)

10. Do your children do chores? {Or will they, did they, etc}

Yes....she is to keep her room clean, put away her clean clothes, fold towels and put soda in the fridge

11. Do you go to church?

12. Do you have a housework schedule?

I don't now but I have in the past. I come up with brilliant ideas but just don't follow through for very long. I may start this again.

13. Do you keep a working budget?

I wouldn't say we have a budget but I do track our spending (excel geek here) and if we spend more than I think we should we will talk about it and try better the next month.

14. What do you do at night as a family?

We always eat together, at the table, no TV or any distractions. This is a biggie for me. Sometimes we watch movies or TV or go for walks through the neighborhood or to the store..

15. How do you prepare yourself for a new week?

Sunday is my prep day....if you hadn't already caught on to that. We rarely make plans for Sundays. I clean, get things organized for school and work, make sure all the clothes are clean, update my calendar and we talk about what the week ahead will be like for us as far as plans.

16. What do your mornings look like?

I wake up at 5:30am (or supposed to) and The Husband is usually almost ready to leave. He is so good about getting right out of bed. M's alarm goes off at 5:50 and we leave the house at 6:20. Drop her at before care and head to work by 7am. The bus picks her up at daycare at 7:30am.

17. What time do you get up in the mornings?

is this a trick question to see if I change the time from #16? Ok so its closer to 6:45 when I get out of bed.

18. What time do you go to bed at night?

we try to be in bed by 10pm

19. How do you manage all of the paperwork that floods into your household?

I hate piles so I deal with everything right when it comes in. Mail gets sorted.....bills go in their place until its time for me to pay them (all at once). This year I started a school binder that keeps all of the important papers in it. I mainly did this so that I didn't dig through everything to see what time school really started.....I had to do this last year when I took M to school one day. Bookbag and workbag are right by the back door......these are prepared the night before.

(We wont mention my to be filed pile that's on my bookshelf. Its in our room so noone sees it.....that makes it ok)

20. How do you keep your household organized? {calendars, charts, etc}

I have a calendar that I keep in my 'notebook' and then we have a calendar on the fridge too. These 2 are updated with everything we have going on.....from dentist appts to cheerleading practice to parties etc. Anything that we schedule goes on here. This way if The Husband is on the phone with someone and needs to know if we are free Oct 10 he can check the calendar. (this happened last night)

The Notebook that I talked of is my baby. Everything and Anything goes in there and I usually take it everywhere with me. If I think of a blog post I will write it down so that when I have time I can type it up. If I hear of a book or movie I want to read/see I write it down. You get the picture. I cant remember anything so this is like my little helper. My handy dandy notebook.

I won! I won!!

2009-08-30T21:12:00.006-04:00

I won a giveaway on Tanielle's blog. I was very excited to receive my package because it was a surprise giveaway......I had no idea what I was getting.

This is what I got in the mail:

and here is some of the goodies:

there is tissue paper, tape, gift bags, boxes, wrapping paper, red ribbon, white ribbon, Christmas cards, red pens (funny because I always use red pens to do my cards), an ADORABLE J-O-Y craft, Christmas card holders and also a little Santa sign....so cute!

(these are super cute.....I couldn't get a great shot)

(love this.....its probably my favorite)

Thank you Tanielle.....I truly do LOVE my stuff!!

Writer's Workshop- First day of school

2009-08-27T09:34:00.000-04:00

Since Miss M started school this week I thought I would list the 5 best things about the first day of school…….this is one of MamaKat’s prompts for the week.

The anticipation of starting a new school year, with a new teacher and class.
Seeing all of your friends that you haven’t seen since school let out in June.
Wearing new clothes. This was a major plus for M. We bought her school stuff but she wasn’t allowed to use/wear anything until school started. She was so proud to wear her skull vest on the first day of school……she said it was the best shirt she’s ever had. Even though I’m not big on it I love that she loves it so much! (alot of love huh?)
The non-stop chatter. Oh my goodness this child talked and talked and talked about everything and anything that happened at school. I am so excited that she still wants to tell me everything. She likes to think she’s grown up now but things like this make me realize she’s still my baby girl.
For me, the first day of school means that my baby is getting 1 yr older. I don’t know if this really falls under a ‘best’ because it is bittersweet. I love watching her grow and advance but I also miss the days of her fitting on my chest while sleeping. She has grown into such a gorgeous young girl……inside and out.

Soda makes you fat

2009-08-26T10:26:00.000-04:00

at least this holds true for me.

I have kept my same exercise routine with a little mixing here and there and nothing happened. The weight would not come off. I cut back on this food and that food. Nothing. Finally I decided to cut back on my Mt Dew. I drink 2 per day and that's it.....honestly I don't think that's alot. I guess to my body it is because once I cut back I lost weight week after week.

Every other day I only have 1 Mt Dew. I just cant deprive myself (yet) and get rid of it totally. I did try diet Mt Dew but couldn't get past the first drink. The Husband had to finish it for me. (he will eat or drink anything) I am only losing around 1lb per week but still I was so shocked that I was finally continuously losing.

We wont talk about me being sick all last week and then getting ready for school to start this week.....that has delayed the exercise a bit.

So ladies, soda may be the key for you too! (I'm a slow learner)

This is a part of Amber's EM:ME. If you haven't already go over and link up to see what everyone else is talking about this week.

Twas the night before school

2009-08-24T20:10:00.000-04:00

In the morning I will have an official 3rd grader. THIRD GRADE. That's like almost middle school. She will be on the top level of the school, moving closer out the door. She's starting to like boys and some of her friends are wearing bra's. My baby loves music and can wiggle her little hips quite well. She loves to listen to Taylor Swift and sing as loud as she can. She starts cheerleading next week and is soooo excited to do it.

My baby. sigh.

She is so grown in many ways but still my baby too.

We talk about anything and everything. I love that she talks to me and I always encourage it. I hate that she is away from me for so many hours a day so I like to get all the gossip when I finally see her.

Tonight we prepared all of her stuff for the 1st day of school so it will be ready in the morning. Book bag is ready, shoes by the door, clothes picked out and hairstyle has been thought of.

Oh wait, she said, she remembered that we always read Twas the night before Kindergarten every year on the night before school starts. Every year I change the grade to the grade she will be entering on the next day. It really touched my heart that she remembered this and its such a fond memory of hers. In the book the parents cry but the kids don't. She said but mom you never do that......oh sweet child, I have every year and I'm sure I will tomorrow too. I just hide it well. (I didn't tell her this....I told her I was proud of her and knew what a big girl she was and that she would be fine)

3rd grade is so old.

For real?

2009-08-13T14:58:00.000-04:00

I got this text yesterday from an old high school friend and it makes me giggle.

Side by side or miles apart a friend like you stays in my heart :)
Send to 10 friends including me or lose someone big tonight!

Isn't that sweet? Hmm lets think about this for a minute......

Soooo if I DON'T send this to 10 people someone will die or leave my life? Tonight?
*remember lose someone big tonight*
This text (or email....you know you get those too) is that powerful? Holy cow!!

So do you forward these because you are afraid, superstitious, think they are cute or do you just ignore?
I'm an ignorer.

It's that time....

2009-08-13T09:12:00.000-04:00

back to school time, that is.

Miss M has started the moaning and groaning about how school is boring. She will be entering the 3rd grade in just a few short days. Well once we went on a four hour long shopping spree where everything was all about her.......her attitude changed. She isn't allowed to use or wear any of her new things until she starts school. Now she cant wait. lol

I was a little shocked at her taste this year. She will be 8 yrs old in the next few weeks. That may seem young but really in this day and time that is like being 12. She is turning into such a little teen. Long gone are the days of princess stuff and I accept that. You can only take so much princess stuff! She was still a girlie girl though and I commented the other day how 1/2 of her shirts were pink. She would never wear black, ever. That is until this school year apparently.......

Let's take a visual tour of our shopping spree:

First was this skirt along with a pink shirt that has little rhinestones in the shape of a flower (I think its a flower) on it. (cant find a pic online of the shirt) The outfit is cute together!

OK so not too bad.

This next one was a shocker to me but she loved it so I obliged. The skull eyes has hearts and stars and she loves the scarf.

Lets move on to some shoes, shall we. These are called Twinkle Toes because they have rhinestones on the toe area. Apparently they are all the rage. I had never heard of them. Are you noticing a trend yet?

Lastly lets enter the name brand part of shopping. She has thrown around the words Aeropostale and Hollister in the past few weeks. I guess she got that from the older girls at daycare.

Hmm Aero wont let me copy their pics or upload from the web to blogger.

A green shirt:

http://www.aeropostale.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2875681

and this is what she chose as her bookbag. She saw someone else have one last year and wanted this type. I made her look in all the other stores and Aero was our last stop.......she still liked this one. This isn't her exact bag.....I don't see it on the website. Hers is white and has a very light blue flower on it.

http://www.aeropostale.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3703681

I picked myself up an Aero shirt too. They were on sale and super soft. She also got some pants and corduroys at Old Navy and other things but they arent anything out of the ordinary. So now you know what my 'baby girl' will be sporting for the 3rd grade!

The condensed version-part 2

2009-08-10T14:55:00.001-04:00

continuation of updates........

I met up with an old friend (we reconnected on FB) and spent the day at the park chatting while our kids played. That was really nice!

The Husband and I had an alone weekend. No kids......zero!! It was very nice. We didn't do a whole lot but that was the point. We helped a friend move. We don't get to hang out with this group of friends much so it was nice to spend the morning catching up with them. We came home, took a nap, and got ready to go out. We followed the "do things we haven't done before-Summer O'Fun " and went to a restaurant we have never been to but have heard lots about it. It was a bit pricey but now we can say that we have been there. (it wasn't anything special, don't you hate that!?!) Then we went to rent a movie. Going in I said that we would get something we both liked.......we walked out with Bride Wars. lol There just wasn't anything good there.

Ohhhhhh I got complimented majorly by the clerk at the video store. Either that or she hit on me. Not sure.
Here's the recap.......
Clerk: whats your birth date?
Me: gives it to her
Clerk: No way, are you serious? You cant be that old.
Me: uh yep, sure am. (she was like 18)
Clerk: well you are doing something right because you look great
Me: thanks! (starting to get a little embarrassed)
Clerk: *turning to other clerk* do you believe she is that old? *she looks at me again* its no wonder he doesn't let you out alone *turns to The Husband

*she continues talking and everything is becoming a blur at this point. I remember her saying something about me looking good and somebody may want to 'break a piece off of that' or something. I'm assuming she meant I was a sex object? lol

So that bring us to last weekend. (I feel like Ive missed alot of stuff but I cant remember anything, ugh)
Last Friday I took the day off and so did my mom. She picked up my niece and we took the girls to Luray Caverns. It was so much fun!! I highly suggest it to anyone who has something similar nearby. I hadn't been since I was a kid so I didn't remember it at all. They give you headphones and a little screen thingy to wear on your neck. It is a self guided tour, when you reach a sign you punch in the number from the sign and it tells you about that area. Miss M got a little bored towards the end but my 6 yr old niece LOVED it. She loved punching in her own numbers and loved learning all about the formations. They have an adult tour and kids tour, you punch in which tour you want. The kids tour described everything in a Indiana Jones kinda voice. So fun!We left there, had lunch and then headed to the pool. It was too cold for me to get in so my mom and I just laid out and talked while watching the girls. There were a few boys there that M goes to school with. All I have to say is I may need to medicate myself soon. 8yr old boys should not look at my baby, tell her to watch them and try to impress her by going off the high dive. (yes, I know I am being ridiculous!!)My mom went home after the pool and my niece spent the night with us. She always asks but we are busy doing this or that so it never works out. This time I made sure to make time!! The Husband picked up his girls for the weekend so we had 4 giggling girls running around. They had a sleepover on the floor and thought they were the coolest. The next day we headed to my mom's (hour away) and spent the day swimming in her pool. Again too cold for me to swim but I did get in the water for a minute. Later in the evening we went to a Festival where the girls did pony rides and had yummy ice cream. Fun was had by all but you could tell they were exhausted. Me too! We took my niece back to my brother and spent a little time with him before heading home. I think we ALL went to bed at 9pm.

Moral of the story: I can't tell a SHORT story and should blog more often so that you aren't falling asleep at my 100 page posts.

The condensed version-Part 1

2009-08-10T13:15:00.000-04:00

Is anyone still out there?
I feel like I havent posted anything exciting in a long time. I am going to do that all in one post. I always mean to update but I never actually get around to it. Last week I think I realized why I have been so slack on my blog lately. I talk to some of you off of blog land so you already hear enough of my life. lol I talk to Mel all day long, almost everyday and I chat with Staci on Facebook and email plus I keep up with a few others on facebook through status updates. Hmmm this is telling me that Facebook is the problem!! It replaced my blogging time......

Summer O' Fun has definetly been fun, yet exhausting. I think I will stick with the beach next year. We have done cool things every weekend which has left little time for normal things....you know like cleaning and organizing. Sooooo as you may have noticed I havent kept you updated lately.

In the past few weeks we have:
Tried out our new tent. (Note to self: camping stuff goes on sale because we paid more than that for it) It is so spacious! We camped in our backyard since it was our first time. This was kinda spur of the moment....more like umm honey the summer is almost over so we need to do this. After dinner we went outside and did our fire, roasted marshmallows, the kids ran around catching lightening bugs, and we just sat and relaxed around the fire. Honestly this was my favorite part. Just being outside with no distractions! I dont know about you but its so easily for me to get distracted or not make the time to do the relaxing stuff, so this was nice. We will be doing alot more fires! Back to the tent, The Husband and I slept on an air mattress and each of the 3 girls had sleeping bags. The clever Mel told me to get some glow sticks so we had them for the girls to play with and then at bedtime we hung them from the ceiling to have some light inside the tent. The girls slept all night long. I was honestly amazed. The Husband and I? Not so much! We dont live on a real busy road but some fast and the furious car decided to go past our house at 3:30am with their loud mufflers (or whatever it is) and that woke us up. Plus it was freezing. I was going to go in to get the keys and found out The Husband didnt lock the door. Uh, *I* am not going in there after the house has been unlocked for hours. So I stayed outside alone while he went in to get me some pants and a hoodie. We had a nice time and will do it again before the summer is over.

(this is starting to not be condensed so I will continue tomorrow)

Totally boring job post

2009-08-03T10:33:00.000-04:00

I have to get this out and get over it so feel free to skip this.....

We know I am a govt contractor. The rule is there always has to be govt personnel here for the staff to be able to be in the building. Makes sense but it doesn't always work out. There are 3 govt employees, me and another woman and then 40 other contractors. Me and the other woman are considered more govt since we do the admin stuff for the govt.

OK so, 2 weeks ago all 3 govt employees were off. Someone in DC was trying to get a hold of a govt employee and got no answer so she took it one step further....I wont bore you with the details but there was trouble. So the boss here (not our real boss, she is our govt boss) told us that the next time this happens that we need to call her at home at 9am and she will come in.

Oh surprise it happened again last Friday....as a side note everytone always gets sick on Friday. shocker. The boss left me a message last friday at 5:30am that she had a migraine but to call her if skanky coworker didnt come in because the 3rd employee had the day off. 9am comes and I call her house phone, noone answers. The other woman has her cell # so she calls that and it rings in her office. Nice. So I try to call her house phone again. I leave a message this time. I told her that noone was here, it was after 9am, a contract supervisor was looking for a govt employee and someones computer had crashed so I wasnt sure what to do about it.

Never heard a effin word back. All day.

The boss comes in this morning and asks if skanky girl came in Friday. I said no and read her off the list of things that went wrong on Friday. She said she didnt get my message until 12:30. Oooook and you didnt even call then? I was a bit flustered but held my cool. A little while later she comes over and says if that happens again we need to keep calling her until we get ahold of her. ARE YOU EFFIN KIDDING ME? *I* am at my job, doing your work because your staff doesnt ever work and you want me to be your alarm clock. I was FUR-I-OUS. I said ok but couldnt hold my tongue anymore. I said you know its really tough because about 5 people came through here saying how we shouldnt be working because there is no govt employees here blah blah and we have to listen to this BUT we are the ones who wont have a job in 24 more days. Not happy. I am pretty sure my voice cracked and you could tell I was shaking inside. I dont do confrontation but I couldnt take it anymore. It was like I was getting reprimanded because I came to work. Oh....she said I cant help if my staff is sick at the same time and walked away.

Well you know what, dear boss.....You suck as a boss and thats probably why I am losing my job. Its quite apparent to everyone else that this place is not run correctly. I cant wait for 24 more days. I hope you know that this place will definetly fall apart then, if it can get worse. Good luck with that. My days cant go quick enough.

My Brain: The Battlezone

2009-07-27T10:15:00.000-04:00

I am the most indecisive person in the world. I am also a control freak. And I do not like change. These things are not working very well for me these days.

I am losing my job in 29 days, we know this. I accept this. Part of me is happy because I get to move on and I eagerly want to. I cant stand the people I work with....really I wont miss any of them or keep in contact. I am more than ready to start a new adventure and meet some new people, learn some new things. I don't have to dress up at my work now and Ive always missed that. I'm the girl who wears khaki's or cargo's because it makes me feel more dressed up than when I'm wearing jeans. So I look forward to that again. I know, I know, most people would love to wear jeans everyday.

Then there is my hours. I work 7am-3:30pm. I love getting off early but hate getting UP early. Miss M has recently started being a grown up and complaining about her 7:30pm bedtime. "No one can believe that I go to bed so early.....so and so stays up to 9:30 or even 11pm" Yeah, that already. ugh So we have moved her bedtime to 8pm, as long as the mornings aren't rough. She will be 8yrs old in about a month and shes had this bedtime forever. She will be happy if I get new hours and gets an even later bedtime. On the flip side, I feel like new hours will turn our life upside down. We eat dinner now at 5pm. Most people are just leaving work at this time. Also, The Husband goes to work even before me at 7am so now we will be working a little different hours. What if I am up late and he always wants to go to bed early? This probably wont happen because I am a sleeper and he isn't but it is a thought that has crossed my mind.

I wish I were psychic.

Everything will be OK. The amount of unemployment I get will be more than if I take a job. I found out on Friday that there is some cobra thing going on that the government will pay most of your cobra bill. You pay 35%, which is excellent and will be about the amount I pay now. So that works out. You can collect this for 9 months....I guess they are doing this because so many people have lost their jobs. It has to be an involuntary termination so I hope a contract ending falls into that category.

I still worry about the baby situation. I am so torn over this that I cried for like 2 hours last night. How can I possibly try for a baby right now when our life is about to be turned upside down? I crave stability and I need to know everything would be OK. I feel like I don't have the time to wait a year. I am not getting any younger. (Almost 35) All of my friends are done having babies and here I am wanting to start with another at this rocky time. Then I think how I am not the most fertile so we really shouldn't give up trying because it may not even happen now anyway. But what if? Then what if I do get pregnant and no one wants to hire me because I am huge. The Husband said I would have 4-5 months before I started showing. ha! Isn't he sweet. With M it was that way but I am about 50lbs heavier now and I hear its quicker with the 2nd pregnancy.

I know everything will work out, I truly believe it but it still scares me. I just feel like I don't know which way to go. These thoughts are just swirling around in my head.......over and over and over and over.

*Disclaimer: no sympathy needed, I just had to get this out. The Husband thinks I should just make up my mind and stick to it.....obviously he's never been a woman.

In 34 more working days....

2009-07-21T14:47:00.000-04:00

I wont be working.
Yeah.
I have known for about 3 months now but I havent really told anyone since this type of thing has happened before. I am a government contractor and every effin year it comes down to the wire on renewing the contract. They always know they are going to renew it but they switch companies. I have been in this position for 5 years and worked for 5 companies. It has always worked out and I have TRIPLED my pay since starting. I have been living on top of the world! I have worked 'in' this building since 1997, minus the 2 years I was a SAHM. I was married here (not literally), found out my exhusband was cheating on me while here (yes literally), went through my pregnancy and being a single mom here, got married again here and started my new life here. This place has been through it all with me.

This job has been boring to me for years but the pay rocks and so does the flexibility. There has been office politics/drama going on for the past year due to a skanky co-worker. It got really bad in the past few months to the point of I was almost in tears and taking my frustrations home with me because I was overwhelmed with work and she didnt do anything all day. This is only background to tell you that I dont love my job. I love the money and thats it.

Anyway. They have decided not to renew our contract. At all. This is 98% official. Our contract ends Sept 7....oh did I mention M's birthday is Sept 6? I'm always in such a great mood for her birthday parties not knowing how my job will play out. This year should really be a rockin party!

My pay will be cut in half (LITERALLY)when I lose this job. This is not an exageration. I get paid Washington, DC pay since my company is located there.....but I really live in Small Town, USA where you dont make any money.

We also cant forget that there goes babymaking. I carry the insurance on the family since The Husband is self employed. I could make more money staying home on unemployment rather than working but we wouldnt have any insurance. The baby thing makes me extra sad.

sigh.

Yay me!

2009-07-20T07:48:00.000-04:00

I did my exercise Friday morning before we left for the weekend and I lost 1.5 lbs. I was sooooo excited. Ive never lost that much! I have been exercising 3 times per week for about a month now. Sometimes I squeeze in more time/days but realistically its only 3 times. The only thing I did differently last week was cut out some soda. I drink 2 cans of Mt Dew a day but last week I alternated days and skipped a can. Monday I drank 2 cans, Tuesday I drank 1 can and iced tea the rest of the day, Wednesday 2 cans, etc. I know water is better but tea is a happy medium for me.

The bad part? We left soon after I weighed myself. We were on the road from 10am Friday until 3pm Sunday. Thats alot of eating out, plus we went to a wedding, which equals cake. I tried to make wise choices but with eating out 3 times per day I am a little nervous that my 1.5 loss is shot.

The wedding(and weekend away)was nice. I am exhausted and wish I would have taken today off. lol

Writer's Workshop- Things about me and my Grandpa

2009-07-16T09:35:00.000-04:00

The great MamaKat has some really good prompts this week for her Writer's Workshop. I couldnt just pick one so I did a little on 2 different prompts.

Three things that you would love to know about me

hmmm.....

I wear my heart on my sleeves. It is impossible for me to fake stuff. It’s just not me, my emotions shine through. I hate this. Sometimes I would like to be furious at someone yet smile. I just can’t.

I am not a stuck up B word. All of my life people have thought this but its so far from the truth. I’m not sure why people don’t understand that not everyone is outgoing. Once I know you I can be the life of the party but until there is a small bond I will just be cordial. Nothing more, nothing less. I don’t let very many people into my ‘emotional space’. I have been disappointed one too many times by people that I thought were the greatest to only find out they really sucked.

I often talk about being Infertile yet I don’t go for further testing. This may seem odd to some and even to me. I feel a little hypocritical at times. How can I whine when I don’t take the next step? I have had a baby, The Husband has had kids, and we just had a miscarriage in June. I know we can have kids but it just hasn’t worked out yet. We have 3 kids together so I should consider myself lucky. And I do. I kind of feel like if it’s meant to be it will be. We will continue to try but there won’t be any drastic testing done. We will be ok, either way. I would LOVE to have a baby. A baby with The Husband. I am hoping that in the future I don’t regret not seeking further assistance but right now I am at peace with it. We have been blessed but would love 1 more blessing also.

About my Grandpa:

As my loyal readers know he just passed away on June 5th. He was my last remaining grandparent so that made it hurt even more than normal. He was such an awesome family man. Through my life I watched him go from having TONS of money to it slowly dwindling down to help family members. He hated seeing anyone in need of help. To his dying day he was still doing this even though he didn’t have much money left. Through all of my memories the thing that stands out to me the most is his love for my grandmother. They had such a special love and I can only hope to have near the love with The Husband for the rest of my living days. They were truly an inspiration. I miss them both so much but I am happy that they are now together, where they belong.

Thanks for stopping by!

Pay it forward with kind words

2009-07-15T10:34:00.000-04:00

Remember when I talked about telling my friends mom what a great mom she was? I said I was going to do that every week to someone new because it made me feel good and them too.

I am the texting queen, which is funny because I used to think texting was just stupid. Now I can sit at work and text without anyone even knowing. lol

Anyway this morning I texted The Husband........

Me: you complete me

Him: ok. whats that all about.

Me: lol, just a random loving text

Him: ok luv u 2

That didn't give me the warm fuzzies like my friends mom's text did. lol He probably thought I wanted him to cook dinner again tonight since he did a great job last night :)

Have you said any random kind words?

Hum the Cops theme song.....

2009-07-14T15:07:00.001-04:00

remember the yard sale we were to have last weekend? We did and it went well. We got up at 5am and had everything ready to go by 7am. I got rid of probably 2/3's of my stuff and was happy with the money I made. My mom didnt do as well but kids stuff always sells the best so that helped me. We stopped around 1pm and took the rest of the stuff to the Salvation Army. Right as we were getting back home it started pouring down rain. We timed that perfectly.

Are you wondering why you have the Cops theme song in your head? Because the cops came to our house yesterday. ha! The Husband wasnt thrilled that he had to deal with it. Apparently (I say that word alot) you have to have a permit to have a yard sale in our town. I have no idea how they knew. We had signs up but we took them down and they didnt have our full address on them anyway. Its driving The Husband crazy wondering how they knew. I just laugh. We got off with a warning and were told we are only allowed to have 2 yard sales per year. Oh and they gave us the rules and regulations sheet for our town. lol I am glad they didnt 'bust' our yard sale. How embarrassing would that have been. I wouldnt be laughing then. :)

Such criminals we are.

Do you live in the same place?

2009-07-13T13:38:00.000-04:00

When I was 12 years old we moved to a place that was a total culture shock to me. City girl meets country world. I had no idea what these kids in my 6th grade class were talking about.....commode's, bloomer's, reckon....huh? I was known as the 'Jordache Girl' because that's the only kind of jeans I wore. I had a phone and TV in my room and the girls who stayed with me acted like they were staying in the Trump Plaza because of all my 'extras'.

I adjusted, even picked up the accent but never the slang. lol I have the best memories of my childhood in this place. Actually I hardly even remember my life before moving there. It was like my life began there. I lived there until I was 18 and then moved to be with my ex-husband.....I met him in this area because he knew a guy there.

I haven't been there in years! Yesterday I decided that I wasn't cleaning and we were going there. Just like that, in the shower, hey honey this is what we are doing today. I am so not a spontaneous girl!! It was on my list of things to do.... I wanted to show M where I was from. So we went. The drive there took forever. M saw her first chipmunk and raccoon. Also a deer that was just getting horns. I showed her where I went swimming, my elementary school, my bus stop, my extra long mountainous driveway that I had to walk, my initials that are still painted on the rocks (didn't tell her exh did that, of course), the bank that I had my first savings account at, where we used to go out to eat, etc.

It was a nice day and I enjoyed sharing a little of my past with The Husband and M.

Oh and a funny.....I showed M my first bank because we cleaned out her piggy bank last week and will be opening up a savings account for her money. She probably had $200 in that thing!! So this morning on the way to daycare we passed my bank, the bank that will soon be hers, and she said.........
and this is where I had my first savings account. ha! she was mocking me. I laughed and told her she could tell her kids that one day. It was a nice and relaxing day!

Why do I torture myself?

2009-07-10T15:12:00.000-04:00

there was a 8 yr old boy in my area that had an outdoor fireplace fall on him this week.
He has severe head trauma.
I read about it at our news stations website. They mentioned that the family had a blog but didn't give the addy. One simple google search and it was the #1 result. There are pics of him, pics of his family, with his friends, playing T-ball......he is a real kid.
*I* have an 8 yr old (almost, in 2 mos).......so why would I even go look at this. I now sit at work fighting tears with this huge lump in my throat. And I will go back to that site for updates.

Why?

Wanna buy some junk?

2009-07-10T08:49:00.000-04:00

Yard sales always seem like a good idea until its actually time to do them. Once it comes down to it.....there is no fun in actually setting up the junk or gathering all of it afterwards to take it to the Salvation Army. I don't mind the money part. I have made hundreds before doing this.....which is why I continue. I don't mind the sitting outside all day or dealing with the people. It's just the prep and tear down. If only I had a magical wand.

So tomorrow we will get up at 5am (ha, ugh) to be up and ready by 7am, when it starts. My mom is joining us so she will come tonight and spend the night since she lives an hour away. We have tons of stuff to set out, we have to put up signs around town and I don't have everything priced yet so we will do that as we set up.

M is sooo excited to be more involved this year. The Husband mentioned her having a lemonade stand and she has been looking forward to it for months. She is also going to sell cookies.....we made them last night and put into baggies. I made her come up with the prices, within reason. She wanted to charge $1 PER cookie or cup of lemonade. ha! I explained that people may think that was expensive and not buy so she had to think about that. She settled on 50 cents for a baggie of 3 cookies and 50 cents for a cup of lemonade.
She made her own sign with the prices. lol
It said:
Lemonade 50 cents
Sugar Cookies 50 cents
Both $1 (like they are getting a deal here, lol)

I'm proud of her and really enjoyed helping her plan this. I think it will make the yard sale worth it. She is going to have her own little table and do her own money. SUCH a big girl!

All good things must come to an end....

2009-07-07T09:15:00.001-04:00

that's kind of a sucky statement huh? I love good things and dont want them to end.

I'm a little late on updating about our 4th but I was busy yesterday. Hope everyone had a great weekend!!

Friday was a hectic day of hair appts, grocery shopping and running errands. We left the house at 8:30 and got home at 2pm. The cook-out started at 5pm. The Husband had to work and then go pick up his girls so he didn't get home until 4pm. He took a shower and started grilling! Beforehand my mom asked me what I wanted her to bring and I said chips.
She brought:
chips
salsa
cheese dip
pretzels
salt and pepper chips
ranch dip
some other flavor dip
a whole watermelon
a tray to put the chips and dip in
macaroni salad
a CAKE (remember I made the rainbow cake for my step daughters birthday)
cool whip
strawberries
and probably other stuff that I cant think of now. I was not happy. Chips, I said bring CHIPS. This may seem silly but it made me feel like I couldn't have my own party or something. She did the same thing when we had Thanksgiving at my house last year. Maybe it makes me feel like a child, who knows but it made me moody! lol

We ate, I made a batch of pina colada's to drink, we hung out and let the kids play outside until it was time to go see the fireworks. The resort that we went to watch fireworks at was packed. We had been there before but there wasn't nearly the amount of people there then. Alot of places in our area didn't do them this year so I'm sure that was the reason.

Saturday we went shopping for the birthday girl and she got lots of cool things. We went bowling and then she picked CiCi's to eat at for her birthday dinner. It was a nice day.

Sunday I didn't even get dressed. I showered and changed into new jammies.....that's it. I did do some laundry because these people I live with needed clothes for the week.

I am such an addict.....

2009-07-03T07:16:00.001-04:00

I am exercising while I surf the net. I have my laptop on the bar in the kitchen and I am doing 30 minutes of free step on Wii Fit. Usually I watch TV while I do it but I had this bright idea this morning. Sure I'm not working my arms but I never do.....I can fit my hand around my wrist, they have always been small. Its just the lower half of me that's decided to expand.

And I lost 1.1 lbs since last week. Yay! Ive stuck to the working out 3 times a week and mostly watching what I eat. This weekend is jam packed with bad food so we will see how that goes.

Have a safe and happy 4th!

oh and it kinda sucks that The Husband had to work today so he got up at 5ish and I haven't been able to go back to sleep. M is still sleeping and Ive been up for an hour. crazy! We have a 9am hair appt so I may have to wake her.....that's so unreal.

Do something nice and unexpected today

2009-07-02T09:49:00.000-04:00

Let someone know that you are thinking of them.....it will make them feel all warm and fuzzy.

I did this yesterday and I felt good about it and I know the person did too.

I know a family that has been through so much and constantly get stuff thrown at them. They used to be my neighbors where I lived in my previous life (with the ex husband) and I became close with the whole family. They used to be really strict Mennonites, no TV and all that but then the father cheated, left the mother with everything and didn't see the kids anymore.

The oldest boy has issues, he's like 35 and still lives at home--no girlfriend, really doesn't like to work much--just a bum.

Then the middle boy was a pretty good boy.....until he decided to race his motorcycle going 100+. He has brain damage. For the past 7 years he has been at home, his mom takes care of him, he cant be left alone because he cant walk, he acts and talks like he is 2 yrs old. They did finally potty train him last year so she doesn't have to change his diapers very much anymore. The mother's life was forever changed from the moment her son decided to have a little fun and be careless.

Last but not least, the girl. When she was born she had to have a shunt put into her head to drain the fluid from her brain....or something like that, I suck at medical stuff. A few years ago she had to have her shunt changed. This involved shaving her head and some pretty graphic stuff. I was there for the procedure and was amazed what they can do without actually doing surgery. Fast forward and the girl had a kid by her boyfriend of many years. He's a uninvolved jerk. Then she married her first love and had a baby with him. He's a bit controlling so they don't have the greatest marriage. She then starts having seizures. They get worse and worse. She has these 2 kids at home so its kinda like she cant be left home alone with the kids now. Everyone joked that it was the stress of her marriage that is making her have seizures until this week when she was put in the hospital for testing. They took her off all meds and made her seize over and over to try to pinpoint what is making them happen. They ruled out stress because its not the right part of the brain or something. Now they are thinking they have to go in and do brain surgery. This could be very risky and scary. Her kids are 5 and 3yrs old.

All that to say.......I texted the mom yesterday, out of the blue, and said 'you are a great mom'. She was so touched and wondered why I was saying this to her. It made her feel good and it made me feel good that she felt that way. This lady would do anything for anybody and its never her turn to just.......be.

Touch someone, tell them how you feel, just say it. I plan on doing this once a week to random people.

Crockpot Rotisserie Chicken recipe

2009-06-30T11:52:00.000-04:00

I've used this recipe for years so I kinda assumed everyone else knew about it too.
Sunday evening my mom and step-dad came over to pick up M (shes at their house until this evening) and stayed for dinner. It wasn't planned at all but we had plenty so it worked out. My mom has raved about the chicken to everyone who will listen and keeps mentioning it to me. A girl she works with wants the recipe so I looked it up online.....its so easy we don't even use a recipe now. Notice how I am saying WE now? I'm not big on playing with the whole chicken but The Husband doesn't mind. He is the official rub-er of the ordeal. He has even been known to act like its a puppet and make the kids roll laughing. Really though its so easy to throw it in, even frozen, and not worry about it for the rest of the day. Oh and cheap! A whole chicken is only like $3-$4.

Here it is:

Ingredients
1 whole roasting chicken
olive oil flavored cooking spray (we have used olive oil, vegetable oil, whatever we have)
seasoning salt, to taste
Directions
Make 4 or 5 loose balls of aluminum foil and place in bottom of crock pot.
Clean chicken inside and out. Spray with olive oil spray.
Sprinkle generously inside and out with seasoned salt.
Put chicken back-side down in crock pot (on top of foil balls).
Cook on high 4-6 hours

Super Cool Tool--- Exercise related

2009-06-26T21:56:00.001-04:00

I found this website that lets you map out your walking route and it tells you how far it is. I like to walk different streets in our neighborhood and always guesstimated how far it was. Now I know for sure. If it has my small town streets, I'm sure it has anyone's.

http://www.myfastfeet.com/Map.aspx

Lots of ramblings about lots of things

2009-06-26T09:29:00.000-04:00

So, my Wii doesn't like me. The Husband got on, after not using it for 133 days, and it told him he lost 10 lbs. TEN POUNDS. Every single flippin time I get on it, it tells me I have gained at least 1 lb. Last night was 1.1. This frustrates me because I have been exercising 3 times a week and semi watching what I eat. Ive only been doing it for 2 weeks but still. I shouldn't gain. The Husband said some nonsense about it being muscle before you actually lose blah blah. Nothing I really wanted to hear, even if it is true. A few months ago was the first time I have ever tried to diet/exercise. In my whole life! I didn't lose anything then either and now I know why I quit. I guess I want instant satisfaction. I don't have tons of patience....I need results to keep my attitude up. Oh and I don't want to cut out all junk food or stop drinking my 2 Mt Dew's per day. I really don't think that's a lot to ask for but apparently it is in the 'workout world'. blech. I look at old high school friends on Facebook and they have all gained lots of weight. Is that just your destiny as you get older? I dont want to gain more but at the same time I don't want to miss out on all the yummy food. __________________________________________________________
My child has a busy social life. And she's not even 8yrs old yet. She has a friend coming over Sunday to play....the plans were confirmed yesterday around noon. Yesterday at dinner M tells me how she's going to work with my mom Monday and Tuesday. Uhhh no one told me this. We will be spending all day with my mom on Saturday so it would have made more sense for her to stay Sat night through Tue evening.....a little vacation for her. Now she comes home with us and then we have to drive her back to my mom's after Ava leaves Sunday evening. She cried and said she was mad at herself for not telling me sooner. I felt bad but they cant tell me these things at the last minute and I wont cancel plans with Ava because that's not right. I excuse my mom too because she has alot on her plate lately and she thought it was next week. ____________________________________________________________
Saturday we are going to move my grandfathers things and clean his apt. I sooo hope this isn't an emotional event for my mom because I suck at these things. Im just uncomfy and don't know what to do. I hardly even cry in front of people, except The Husband.
______________________________________________________________
We bought a tent last weekend. Now we just have to find time to go camping. lol Busy people, we are! Buying this tent has proved that I have some deep rooted issues. lol I keep thinking that the tent doesn't have locks/doors/anything to protect us. A friend of mine said 'killers don't hang out at campgrounds' and while that phrase makes me laugh every time I think it.....I think shes wrong. Why wouldn't they? Easy access, makes sense to me. I think that whenever we go camping I will have to get falling down drunk (yes in front of the kids who have barely seen me drink) or heavily medicate myself in order to not worry about this. Our first camping will be in our backyard and the second will probably be in my moms backyard. lol She has a pool so we could spend the day at the pool and hang out all night. It seemed like a cheap vacation to do with the 3 kids.....minus the killer part. ___________________________________________________________
Micheal Jackson. I don't know how I feel about him. Sure he was a star but I still don't know that he wasn't a pedophile also. I'm just kinda neutral on his death. I'm rather shocked that so many people are saddened by it. I must have been under the impression that everyone thought he was a pedophile. Last night on FB I watched a friend get tore to shreds over her comment about him.....from her friends who obviously thought she was defaming his character or whatever. I was surprised to find out he was 50. Surgery does wonders for wrinkles I guess. I'm starting to get 2 wrinkled in between my eyes. Not liking that!!

I guess that's enough thoughts for this early in the morning, especially on a Friday!
Have a great weekend!!

TAG- 6 things that make me happy

2009-06-24T12:48:00.000-04:00

The oh so lovely Staci tagged me in this fun little get to know you!
My turn around time on this one is 23 days. Not bad. I think I am almost caught up!

Here are the rules:
List Six Unimportant Things That Make You Happy
Mention and link to the person who tagged you
Tag six of your favorite bloggers to play along, and comment on their blog to let them know they've been tagged.

Six Unimportant Things That Make Me Happy

bubble wrap, I love it
Sunrise and Sunset
going out to eat....I love eating out and we do it every weekend, I am spoiled!
I do love to cook though and it makes me happy to try a new recipe and everyone love it
taking a walk with my family
snuggling with my (almost) 8 yr old like shes still a baby.....we did this Monday morning when neither of us wanted to get up. She crawled in bed with me and I pretended she was a baby by laying her on my chest. She is almost as tall as me!!

and now.....
I tag all of you to do this. It was nice thinking of all the things that make me happy. I could have listed tons once I started thinking. It truly is the little things in life.....

My psychotic Facebook episode

2009-06-24T07:39:00.001-04:00

I am now banned from taking FB quizzes. Whatever will I do with my spare time now? The Husband said No. More. Quizzes for me.

My friends send me so much junk on there.....drinks, watergun fights, pillow fights, cats/dogs/hearts, you know all that stuff that I mostly ignore. I do enjoy the quizzes though and most of the time I feel like they have some validity to them. Except I wont marry a cowboy and his name wont be Dan. Ohhh it did guess my kids first name correctly though! See!!

To the point....A friend sent a Tarot Card reading quiz. woohoo, lets see what this baby says.

It asks my mood so I answered based on work because I was kinda emotionless on anything else. I don't like my job most of the time. (The money keeps me here) OK finished the quiz and BAM.....the death card. HUH? Most people that know me know that's my worst fear. I think it comes from being traumatized by my dad dying when I was at a young age. OK I'm a little freaked out, eyes wide open. This is right before bed also. So The Husband, being his supportive self, laughs and says he will take it. I log out, he logs in, takes quiz and gets the fool card. Hmmm still not funny. I log back in and will answer the questions again based on semi different answers, I didn't change them all. BAM. death card again. OK, its realllllly not funny at this point. I took a NyQuil to help me sleep because I knew I would think all night. So, yeah, a FB quiz may or may not have made me cry for a second last night. ;) That's some serious stuff! I just try to keep reminding myself that I'm not married to a cowboy named Dan, like it said, so I wont die soon either.

sigh. Cant anything be enjoyable these days?

J&K+8

2009-06-23T07:36:00.000-04:00

I have the sadz for Jon, Kate and more importantly the 8 little kids.
I have tried to stay in denial, even when there was pics of him with the ugly school teacher or whoever she was. Don't get me wrong, Kate isn't an angel either but still. Right now I'm chosing to be mad at Jon. I know, I know, she treated him like he was stupid but maybe he really was?
Blah.

One lovely blog Award

2009-06-22T13:06:00.000-04:00

The awesome Lisha at Everday Life with smiles gave me this great award! Thank you!

She gave it to me in May. Is that a bad turn around time? lol

The Bella Rules:
1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.
2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

So some of 15 newly discovered blogs.....

Honestly I haven't found very many new blogs lately. Mainly because I am having a hard enough time keeping up with the blogs I already read.

Here are the people that I will pass this on to......

Ashley (Dog Tags and Pearls)

Jodi (Our crazy life)

Another online mom

Masked Mommy

100 calorie packs=HA! (and exercise)

2009-06-22T08:44:00.000-04:00

Last week I told myself that I would exercise 3 times during the week. Tuesday I did the Wii Fit, after it told me I had gained 1.5 lbs in 6 days.....stupid thing! It rained most of the week but Thursday it was sunny so I planned a play/exercise date. My friend and her dd would meet M and I and they would ride bikes while we walked. Loaded up the bike, driving to the school and the friend calls asking if I could stop and get her a water I told her I was pulling in now. She then tells me how hot it is out....80, maybe 83 but there was a great breeze. She said maybe we could just sit in the shade and talk. Uh I was not happy! I told her that my promise of working out and that I was still going to. I know this may sound mean but she does crap like this all the time and I was just mad. I really dont know why we are still friends. Oh and she's like I have on jean shorts, I didnt really think we were going to walk. What part of 'do you want to walk while the girls ride their bikes' did you not understand? Come on. So she left to go to the store...I walked a lap while venting to The Husband on the phone, then jogged a lap, walked another lap and she finally made it back from the store. Geesh! So I was on lap 3 by the time she got back. She then walked 2 more laps with me and told me she had to sit down. Let me give you an important piece of background.....she brags about how she is such a runner, she loves to run, its all over her Facebook that she is a runner and into exercise. yeah.
Friday night after taking M to spend the night at my moms, The Husband walked 1 mile with me through our neighborhood. He really is my best friend. Sometimes it would be nice to have reliable girl friends too though. My friends suck and are very self absorbed.

Oh yeah those snack packs. I bought some yesterday while grocery shopping. Lemon Cakes....about the size if a tube of chapstick. I could eat the whole box. I dont think the 100 calorie packs will work out for me. lol

M starts going to the pool this week at daycare. They go 2 days a week and I think I am going to use those 2 days to exercise and give her a little more time at the pool. The way it is now is that she would only be there 1.5 hrs before I picked her up. I used to be so bad about the mommy guilt but Im ok with this and she loved the idea too. I already put a roast in the crockpot for dinner tonight so we can eat right when we get home.

I am a talker.

What did your room look like as a child?

2009-06-18T10:29:00.000-04:00

I have such fond memories of my room as a child. I had a white canopy bed with a peach canopy topper thingy and a peach dust ruffle. My comforter was rainbow but it was the coolest rainbow! It would start out with like orange and then the next stripe would be lighter and lighter until you got to a peach color. This went on with several colors. Maybe thats where my love of rainbows came from? I can almost still feel that comforter in my mind, very odd! As I got older I had the jelly bracelets interwined to make a chain and draped from post to post at the footboard.

Then I became a teen.

I had a waterbed that took up my whole freaking room. What were my parents thinking? I wouldnt allow M to have that crowded of a room. A teen doesnt need a king size bed anyway. I also had a white vanity, dresser, tv and big stereo....you know the kind with the tall speakers. Then came the posters on the wall. Kirk Cameron and Madonna, with her mini skirt and lacy headband. Oh and the room was a very pale purple.

What was your room like as a child or teen?

Fun Stuff

2009-06-16T07:37:00.000-04:00

As you know we decided to skip our yearly vacation to do semi local fun things that we have never done. Summer O' Fun is supposed to be about showing M new and exciting adeventures. Oh who am I kidding? I love road trips and this allows more of them. I was a little bummed out that June has started off with so much sadness and interrupted my plans.

We dusted off and jumped right into the weekend.....

First stop was going to the Parade that was near our house.
Then the debate was to go to the Carnival or do something else fun. The 2 step daughters arent big on rides....like they wont even ride the carousel, whereas M now has a little taste of 'big' rides and theres no going back to fake motorcycles that only goes 1 mph. Baby rides, as she calls them. See the dilemna? As a family we all came up with ideas of things we could do and then we voted on Carnival or no Carnival. I waited to vote until M did because I knew she would be out-voted (lol)....I know, favortism, whatever. I do disguise it! Anyway the final decision was no Carnival and we would go ride go-karts and do mini golf.

The 2 girls have never played mini golf and none of them had ever ridden go-karts. We tried to take M to this place before but she wasnt old enough to drive. We played mini golf, The Husband and M did the batting cage. I was scared to let M do this but I stifled my fears since she really wanted too. She did great!! Next up was the go-karts. Youngest girl is so short so she had to ride with The Husband....she was a little upset but it worked out. He wasnt even going fast and she wanted him to slow down. These 2 kids need to get out more!! The oldest girl was looking at me and not paying any attention when she pulled into stop and she wasnt slowing down.....she plowed right into the rest of the parked cars. We laughed about that for the rest of the day.

We all had a blast. I highly recommend go-karts. If you have young kids you can let them ride with you in a double car. I felt like such a kid doing it and I laughed so hard at these goofy girls driving. I would ride go-karts all day, every day if I could! lol Our day ended by stopping at Denny's (kid's pick) and getting Cosmic Cups and Alien Pancakes for dinner.

Next on the list is buying a tent to go camping. Stay tuned for some good stories. (I've never really camped, well I tried like 2 times but it rained each times and the tents like blew down or something crazy....it wasnt pleasant)

Yes or No?

2009-06-11T20:00:00.000-04:00

I saw this on Lisha's blog and decided it looked fun. I am a million 'tags/awards/meme's' behind but I decide to do this one. I do things in a different style than others. lol

Here are the rules:
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. -- And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming. Nothing is exactly as it seems.

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? Yes
Been arrested? no
Kissed someone you didn't like? no
Slept in until 5 PM? Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes
Held a snake? no
Ran a red light? yes
Been suspended from school? yes
Experienced love at first sight? no
Totaled your car in an accident? No
Been in a vehicle at more than 100 mph? yes
Driven a vehicle at more than 100 mph? yes
Been fired from a job? no
Fired somebody? no
Sang karaoke? no
Pointed a gun at someone? no
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? no
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes
Kissed in the rain? no
Had a close brush with death? yes
Played spin-the-bottle? yes
Sang in the shower? yes
Smoked a cigar? yes
Sat on a rooftop? no
Taken pictures of yourself naked? no
Smuggled something into another country? No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? no
Broken a bone? yes
Skipped school? yes
Eaten a bug? No
Sleepwalked? yes
Walked a moonlit beach? yes
Rode a motorcycle? yes
Dumped someone? yes
Forgotten your anniversary? no
Lied to avoid a ticket? No
Ridden on a helicopter? no
Shaved your head? no
Played a prank on someone? yes
Hit a home run? No
Felt like killing someone? yes
Cross-dressed? No
Been falling-down drunk? yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? no
Puked on amusement ride? yes
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? no
Been in a band? no
Knitted? No
Been on TV? no
Shot a gun? yes
Skinny-dipped? no
Gave someone stitches? yes
Eaten a whole habenero pepper? no
Ridden a surfboard? no
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? yes
Had surgery? Yes
Streaked? no
Taken by ambulance to hospital? yes
Tripped on mushrooms? no
Passed out when not drinking? yes
Peed on a bush? No
Donated Blood? no
Grabbed electric fence? no
Eaten alligator meat? no
Eaten cheesecake? yes
Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? yes
Peed your pants in public? no
Pooped your pants in public? no
Snuck into a movie without paying? No
Written graffiti? yes
Think about the future? yes
Been in handcuffs? yes
Believe in love? yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? yes

I dont have time to blog because...

2009-06-10T14:50:00.001-04:00

I am too busy driving! Can you believe I put 3000 miles on my car in ONE month? Neither could the Honda guys.

My car (really its not a car, its an SUV but I call everything a car) has a 100k mile warranty but to have that honored I have to have it maintained at a Honda place. It has to be a Honda certified technician, which I think is silly but whatever......so I go in Monday since I was off and we would be traveling 3 hours the next day for the funeral.
Honda guy: have you been to California?
Me: uh, no. (thinking he's a weirdo)
HG: you were just here in May so that means you put 3000k miles on your car in 1 month. We were talking about it out in the shop and thought maybe there was a mistake somewhere. There just cant be any way you put that many miles on in 1 month.
Me: I did. (wishing he would just shut up already)

So there you have it.....I am too busy traveling to blog.

(Thank you guys for the sympathy. Im trying to move ahead this week and get back to normal life. I debated on even blogging about it but it is my life, so I did.)

Last week.....

2009-06-08T17:20:00.000-04:00

my grandfather died and I had a miscarriage.

Nice huh? Yeah it was a great week.

I was due to get my period on Friday so I was paranoid the whole time we were away. We got home from Hershey Park Sunday night and I took a dollar tree pregnancy test just because. (Remember years of infertility here) So there was 2 lines but I was so tired I just kinda went to bed. Madison and I stayed home Monday because we were exhausted, this was pre-planned, since we didnt get home until 9:30 Sunday night. The Husband gets up the next morning and wakes me up to say he see's the lines too and he was all rubbing my tummy. Still in shock all day, while out running errands I picked up a First Response early detection pregnancy test. 2 lines also....and I didnt use first morning pee. We had so many emotions....shock, happiness, you name it. We looked at baby names because we want to name a future baby an M name so that we will have 2 J's and 2 M's. We were just all wrapped up in this. I made my dr's appt etc.
Tuesday morning I got up and was bleeding. TMI---first it was just regular bleeding and then it got heavier and heavier. I called the dr and took my lunch break having a blood test done. Got the results back on Wed that my levels were 14, 10 is pregnant. So yay, I am really pregnant but there is this bleeding still. Everyone thought optimistically but I tried to stay numb. It was scary! We didnt tell hardly anyone....my mom, MIL, girls I am on a message board with and the guy The Husband works with. Ok so results on Wed and then back for more bloodwork on Thursday to make sure my levels were rising. Another lunch hour getting blood work.....results on Friday. Can I just tell you that this is the most drawn out process ever? I spent my whole week not knowing if I were going to have a baby or not.
So lets skip over to my grandfather. He has been sick, Ive posted about that. We knew he wasnt going to make it very long. My mom told me Thursday night that he was doing pretty bad. I hadnt been to see him because I was so wrapped up in this pregnancy thing. I wanted to go that night but my mom said no, she didnt want me getting sick. He had some sort of flu. So I didnt go. We had planned on going Sunday to spend the day with him. I slept with my phone near me that night. I cried before bed. I knew, I just knew. 5:30am my phone rings....before even seeing who it was I knew *WHAT* it was. My mom waited until it was time for me to get up to tell me. My grandfather died at 3am. He went to sleep and that was it. The nurse had checked on him and he was fine....she went back in 10 mins later and he was gone. I laid in bed crying. I told M and she started crying so I kept her home from school. (she had only missed 1 other day the whole year and now shes missed tons) I tried not to upset myself too much because, afterall, I was pregnant.

The dr hadnt called and it was 11:45am so I called them. My levels fell and I had a miscarriage. The rest of the day was spent sobbing my effin eyes out trying to figure out WHY. Why tease a person with infertility? Why let me be pregnant for 1 whole effin day? WHY? Why make this happen now, when my grandpa was dying? This consumed the whole last week of his life and kept me from seeing him.

I thought I was doing better but as I type this I am angry, almost crying and want to say the F word alot.

The funeral is tomorrow. They had to wait for family to fly in. The past week has been such a whirlwind. I lost a baby that I yearned for, for years and my last grandparent too.

Silver Foot, White Foot.....

2009-05-29T10:17:00.000-04:00

That's what Madison has on today and I let her.

I remember a looong, looong time ago when she was little (lol) I obsessed over stains getting on her clothes and prohibited her from doing some things so that she didnt ruin her Gymbo. ha! Then I thought about what kind of memories she would have (I always think about this) and didnt want her to be the kid who could never do anything. I was Kate, from Jon and Kate.

Anyway, now I let her do whatever most of the time. At the beginning of the week she decided that this was sports theme week....only in her head, not a real thing at school. So each day she has wore a T-shirt from her many times of playing soccer over the past 2 years.

Last week I bought her flip flops at the big Old Navy sale. One silver and one white pair. She looooves the silver and they have little hearts on them. She has been wearing them after school all week but wearing one of each. I asked why and she said she really likes the silver but she didnt want me to think she doesnt like the white too. Oooook.

She wanted to wear them to school today, one of each. And I let her.

Writer's Workshop-10 Happy's and Sleepwalking

2009-05-28T08:12:00.000-04:00

The wonderful MamaKat has posted her weekly prompts AND I made time again this week to join. Go check her out and join in the fun!

The Prompts:
5.) List ten things that make you HAPPY.(inspired by our irritation at our own complaining from last weeks "Sick Of" posts.)

1. My daughter
2. Hearing my daughter laugh
3. Laughing at the silly nonsense that comes from The Husband
4. Hearing my youngest step daughter tell us how much she loves being at our house and that she would like to come live with us….knowing she would only see her mom briefly, like she does us now. As a mother I would hate my daughter to say that but as her step-mother it makes my heart warm that she loves our house that much.
5. Hearing giggly girls running around our house
6. Sunshine (not enough of that this week!)
7. When The Husband cooks dinner. He just bought a new grill/smoker thingy and he is in love with it. Works for me if he wants to stand in the rain to grill ribs.
8. Shopping. I love to shop. It doesn’t matter if I buy anything or not, I just love to be out looking at stuff.
9. Road Trips-I loooove going new places. I love the excitement leading up to a trip. (leaving this weekend!!)
10. Free time-I don’t have enough of this lately but I love it, when it happens!

6.) Ok I was going to end it with five, but Laina just got out of bed as I was finishing this post and I SWEAR she is sleep walking. It's creepy. I keep asking her what she is doing and she's staring at me...but not directly at me...kind of just a centimeter to the left of my head. I KNEW she was a sleep walker. I just knew it. SO! Share a sleep walking story of your own!!(inspired by my scary four year old)

*I* am a sleepwalker. Or at least I used to be. This story has been told so many times that I now think I remember it vividly. I'm sure its just from hearing it so many times though. My parents had friends over and they were playing cards at the kitchen table. I was asleep in my room down the hall. Apparently I walked down the hall, grabbed a chair, climbed up on the chair and grabbed a loaf of bread that was on top of the fridge. (that was where they kept the bread?) I opened up the brand new loaf of bread and took out slice by slice just flinging it one way or another. Right side, left side, until there was no bread left. While the adults sat there and laughed at me.
My daughter follows in my footsteps with everything so sleepwalking should not have been a surprise to me when she did it. But it was. She will sit up in bed, have a full conversation with ‘someone’ and then go back to sleep. One night right as I was falling asleep I heard her get out of bed. Her room is kinda like a big square with a little L attached in the corner. (It’s a cape cod) So I go in her room and she is over in the corner just kinda standing there with this glazed over look. It was like she was possessed or something. lol This scares me because our bedrooms are upstairs so I am afraid she is going to sleep walk down the steps one night. Ive thought of putting up a gate but that’s a little weird for a 8 yr old and she doesn’t do it very much…..mostly just the talking while sitting up.

I could be a Cullen (and randomness)

2009-05-27T12:33:00.000-04:00

I dyed my hair last weekend and it came out kinda dark.

I bought new makeup and it is too light. Today is the first time I have worn it sooo it kinda sucks that I am at work looking like a vampire (dark hair, white skin) and cant do anything about it.
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I had shrimp lo-mein for lunch and it was yummy!
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My grandfather is scheduled to go to his new assisted living facility today. That's kinda bittersweet. He is moving near my mom so it will be soooo much easier to go see him. I love that part but I hate that he is getting 'this old'.
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I am sooooo ready to go to Hershey Park. M is excited too! We looked on YouTube at some of the rides and it appears she may be a daredevil. Some of the rides she said she would try.....I don't want to try! lol I told her we are seeing a show while we are there but she still doesn't know its Drake Bell. eeek!
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I have to go to the dentist tomorrow. That's always fun!

Have a great day!! :)

Grandfather, Squats, iCarly

2009-05-22T09:24:00.000-04:00

First off my grandfather-
My grandfather is hallucinating at night now. He called my mom last night at 10:30 to tell her that his phone was smoking and did she think they (the hospital) were trying to kill him. The nurse told my mom on Monday that at night he pulled out all of his iv's, oxygen etc. When I was there he said he was up all night because they were doing construction next door. I didn't think much of it. He seemed perfectly fine to me. My mom said yesterday he had a glazed look in his eyes and he told her that he has already seen my grandma (his wife) and his mother. That scares me. I probably watch too much TV though....does that happen IRL? I'm thinking Grey's here. Oh and my mom asked what type of meds he was on and they said Benadryl and Tylenol PM for sleep. My mom is on her way to the hospital to talk to the Dr's.

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Those torturous Hindu squats-
Did anyone brave them? I can barely walk today and look like I am limping......this is from doing them the one time. Yesterday wasn't bad but maybe walking the neighborhood last night didn't help? No pain, no gain. (I may take some Advil, its that bad!)

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Hershey Park-Icarly-
Remember that we are going to Hershey Park next weekend. First time M will go to a real amusement park so she is going to be thrilled. Add to that the fact that iCarly was going to be there. Her FAVORITE girl. This is her Hannah Montana. The Husband talked me into not telling her and letting it be a surprise. Glad I actually listened to him (for once) because she isn't going to be there now!!! We checked back to see what time the concert was and her name wasn't there.....Drake Bell is now in her place. I kinda thought maybe I hallucinated it but The Husband saw it too....so that means I'm not crazy. Drake is from Drake and Josh (another Nick show) and he also has a (a few?) albums out. M watched him prior to iCarly so she does like him. She has one of his CD's and she even thinks hes cute. (sigh) She will still be excited but The Husband and I are a little disappointed since we like iCarly better. lol

How's that for a little bit of everything? :)

Writing Assignment-Weekend Plans and Too Busy to...

2009-05-21T09:23:00.000-04:00

Each week the ever so wonderful MamaKat gives out Writing Assignments, if you chose to accept. I enjoy doing this but have been too busy at work to participate the past few weeks.

I can’t decide which one to do so I will touch on a few of them….

2.) Memorial Day Weekend plans?? Do share!

I never go anywhere on Memorial Day weekend. The wreck I was in was Memorial Day weekend and I am superstitious about driving. It was on Sunday night and I was going to a friend’s house to hang out…..I never made it there. Spent 2 weeks in UVA and then was homebound for the rest of the summer while I did physical therapy. Oh the memories!

5.) What have you been too busy to pay attention to?

I have been too busy for everything. Between all of the traveling we have been doing and working in our yard to spruce it up for the spring/summer. In a matter of 1 week I traveled for 20 hours. 20 hours in a car….I wont get that back! Last Tuesday I went 3 hours (one way) for work, Saturday we went 2.5 hours (one way) so that The Husband and oldest stepdaughter could get fitted for my brother-in-law’s wedding in July, and then this Tuesday I went to see my grandfather in the hospital which is about 3 hours away (one way). OK so it wasn’t quite 20 but I like to round up, it makes the story more interesting.

So with all of this jet-setting I have been doing….I have kinda neglected the laundry, the cleaning, the marital duties, and well everything. If I hear The Husband ask if he has something clean one more time I may just hurt him. Really though, he has been great with helping but he is banned from laundry. You guys remember the laundry incident where he did my clothes and they had permanent wrinkles? Yeah. I had to wash the clothes a few times just to get the wrinkles out because they just wouldn’t go away. It just didn’t seem worth it to have him help with that chore anymore.

I could do a few more prompts but Ive whined enough and you are probably asleep now. Laundry isn’t the most exciting topic, huh?

Have a great day!!

Do NOT try this at home (exercise)

2009-05-20T19:19:00.002-04:00

If by some chance you do try it and live to tell about it, don't come back her bragging to me! lol

I saw this on a message board I frequent and thought no problem. Afterall, I did the Shred without any problems and wondered what all the fuss was about.

Remember the Sinus Infection from hell? Ummm I haven't really exercised since then. sigh

So I start the video, hmmm no problem, get to 32 and think I am going to die. I continue on. My chest and throat feels like I am having and asthma attack. Not that I have ever had one but I'm assuming this is what it would feel like. It hurt and burned. I did finish my 100 in 5 minutes but my form at the end was less that desirable. Still a squat is a squat, right? I thought so too.

Baby steps.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75rslIm8v00

ps- you do 100 in 5 minutes. I finished but I'm pretty sure I wont be able to walk tomorrow.

Opinions Needed

2009-05-20T10:42:00.000-04:00

I have a Facebook issue that I need some help solving.
Lets back up a bit first though….

In the beginning when I started my FB I was very selective in who I had on my page. It made me realize that I am a private person. Yeah, I know, I have a public blog but I guess I feel protected on here because I keep it mostly anonymous. You guys don’t really ‘know’ me. As time passed on FB I have loosened up a bit. I mean I'm not posting about wild sex parties or anything. Not sure why I don’t want the world to know that I shopped all day on Saturday, who knows....I never claimed to make sense. I look at the people with 200+ friends oddly. (No offense to 200+ friend people) I have a friend who has tons of friends but no one EVER comments on her stuff. That’s just odd to me. Ok, I am getting sidetracked here……the point was the privateness (made up word?)

Now lets skip over to The Husband’s ex. I really don’t talk about her a lot because we don’t have too many issues with her. We HATE that she put the kids in public school and then pulled them right out because someone picked on the oldest daughter. That's a great way to deal with life. *rolling eyes* They are now home schooled and the youngest hates it. She cries for her friends that she met at school. She asks to come live with us so she can go to school with M. I could go on and on about this but I will spare offending any homeschoolers who read my blog. So lets call the ex- BabyMama….just because I like to say it and yes I call her that in real life too. Just not to her face. We are nice to each other and get along fine. We don’t do joint birthdays or hang out together but we are more than civil and accommodating to each other.

Is anyone still reading or have I managed to offend everyone with my views on FB and homeschooling? lol

I'm sure by now you have guessed what my issue is. BabyMama requested that we be friends on FB last night. This made me lose sleep!! She said that she wasn’t sure if it would be weird for me but she adds pics of the kids that she thought I may want to view. She did not request to be friends with The Husband….just me. Whatever. He is never on FB so we would have preferred it have been him. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to accept it because I really don’t want her all in our lives. I think there is a fine line in blending families and if you cross it, it could turn ugly. I hate to not accept though because then it will be all weird when I see her and I will feel bad. Ive thought about not accepting and then just not going to any pick-up and drop-offs for awhile. lol, make The Husband deal with it! I am evil.

An example would be……we are going to Hershey Park next weekend. She does know we are going because we had to switch weekends with her due to the concert. The kids know we are going to PA. They get motion sickness from riding the carousel so it really isn’t a place for them. But I'm sure I will be talking about it on FB when I get back because M is going to be soooo excited for her surprise. You get what I mean? Ugh!!

My Grandpa is in the hospital....

2009-05-18T10:07:00.002-04:00

and its torture for me to just sit here and wait for my mom to call so I thought I would blog about it. My mom called me a little after 8am and told me that my grandfather called her and he couldn't breathe and had chest pains. He lives in an elderly community....not a nursing home, its like each person has their own apartment but there are main common areas for them to gather. There are no nurses on-site. Soooo my mom tells him to hang up and call 911 and she is on her way. She lives about 1 1/2 hrs from him so she left right away. I called her a bit ago and she was pulling in the hospital then and said she would call me back. So I sit and wait.

He has emphysema and wears an oxygen mask so there is already breathing problems there. This is one of the reasons I quit smoking....watching him not be able to walk 5ft without gasping for air.

He is my last remaining grandparent. My dad's parents died when I was 4, within 6 mos of each other. I have no memory at all of them and that's kinda sad to me. My mom's mom died about 5 yrs ago and I was dev-a-sta-ted! I loved that little lady so much. I'm getting teary just thinking about it. I was always closer with her than my grandfather and honestly things haven't been the same since she died. Whenever I do go visit my grandfather its weird....without my grandma there its just not the same. The first few times made me cry so I didn't go back as often as I should. Its just sad.

Ok need to go distract myself.

One year ago today

2009-05-15T07:20:00.000-04:00

I quit smoking. It has been a long, hard road and honestly I never thought I would make it. In the beginning I thought about smoking ALL. THE. TIME!! I wanted to give in but my wonderful husband, who quit a month before me *for* me, was such a great support system. He didn't really want to quit but did because he knew that I reallllly wanted to. I loved smoking, it was me.....but I love living more. As someone who lost a parent at a young age, I wanted to be there for M when she got married and to see all of her important life things. I just had to keep that in my mind. I even got morbid and cut out obits from the paper of young people who died of cancer.

All that and still in the back of my mind I didn't think I could do it. There are still some times that I think about smoking and miss it. I did it for about 15 yrs. It was part of me. I mainly miss it when I get stressed out and need a break. I miss it at work recently because if you don't smoke you don't really take a break. I have started to *make* myself take a break and go outside and walk around a bit.

Anyone who is struggling with quitting or have thought about it.......you can do it.
Really, you can!!

Games for the kids while traveling

2009-05-14T09:19:00.001-04:00

We are on the road quite a bit and it will increase over the summer so I started looking around for some things to do with the kids while traveling.

When we went to the Circus I printed out bingo cards and they were a big hit. Actually I brought a set on the field trip to the zoo too. M and her friends had fun and some of the parents thought it was a brilliant idea. My step-daughter's loved them too.....I was just running to the store one day and asked if anyone wanted to go. The oldest's deciding factor was if I had any bingo cards ready. lol I didn't, so she stayed home.

Saturday we are traveling 2 hours (again!) for The Husband and the oldest step daughter to get fitted to be in my brother-in-law's wedding, in July. So I just printed out some cards for the trip and thought I should pass the link on. The site has tic-tac-toe printables, road trip bingo, scavenger hunt, etc.

http://www.momsminivan.com/printables.html

A little get to know you........

2009-05-14T00:43:00.000-04:00

Do you like blue cheese? No
Do you own a gun? No
What flavor of Kool-Aid was your favorite? Grape
Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Yes!
What do you think of hot dogs? I like mine burnt or microwaved to a rubbery state
Favorite Holiday movie? Rudolph…we just watched Fred Clause on HBO last weekend and it was really cute.
Favorite thing to drink in the morning? Mt Dew…I love the cold crispness of it
Can you do push ups? Negative
What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Wedding Rings....especially my engagement ring because The Husband picked it out all by himself.
What's your favorite hobby? Internet? I like to garden.
Do you have A.D.D.? Sometimes I think so. I can listen to you, look you in the face and acknowledge what you said but Im not really listening and forget it 5 mins later. I hate that but my mind is always going a million directions.
What's one trait you hate about yourself? OCDish
Middle name? AnnName
3 thoughts at this exact moment: is my brother on the right track, I feel bad that The Husband will be home alone with 3 kids Fri night because I am taking my bff out for a birthday dinner, its cold and it’s the middle of May
What do you read in the bathroom? Nothing...oh I do read magazines while taking hot baths
Current worry? When will we have a free weekend?
Current hate right now? Nothing really
Favorite place to be? Home or the beach. I love watching M at the beach….its so relaxing!
How did you bring in the New Year? Sleeping, I think.
Where would you like to go? Hawaii
Name three people who will complete this. Mel, Staci, Lisha or Ashley (my faithful commenters)
Do you own slippers? yes I actually wear slippers all year. I hate being barefoot
What shirt are you wearing? Pink tank with black fleece
Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I don’t know that I ever have slept on any
Can you whistle? Yes but I couldn’t until I was like 18. Sooo uncoordinated.
Favorite color? Purple
Would you be a pirate? No
What songs do you sing in the shower? none
Favorite girl's name? Skylar
Favorite boy's name? Jaxson (Im kinda over this one but I did like it for a few months)
What's in your pocket right now? Nothing
What vehicle do you drive? Honda Pilot
Worst injury you've ever had? Car wreck-lots of broken bones, etc
Do you love where you live? Yes, I really do!
How many TV's do you have in your house? 4
Who is your loudest friend? I don’t know that I have loud friends
Do you have any pets? 1 cat, Dasher
Does someone have a crush on you? Of course they do, silly!
Your favorite book(s)? ummm I don’t really have one. Refer back to that ADD question….I cant get into books very easily.
Do you collect anything? Nope, hate junk (M collects rocks….I loved rocks as a kid too so that’s neat….If she isn’t with me and I see an interesting rock than I get it for her)
Favorite Sports Team? Virginia Tech, by marriage
What song do you want played at your funeral? Oh I don’t like to think about that. I have the mindset of living forever.

Ok now its your turn Ladies!

Tomorrow.....

2009-05-11T15:27:00.000-04:00

I go on a business trip to 'the big city'. I have to leave at 5am just to get there at 9am due to the morning traffic. Yay me huh?
Really though I am very flattered that my boss has asked me to attend an event that really doesn't pertain to my immediate job because he wants my opinion on it. This could open even bigger doors than what I have now. I love my doors already so bigger would be super!

Have a great day tomorrow and be thankful you aren't sitting in traffic going 5mph.

Party Update

2009-05-10T20:46:00.000-04:00

The party was fun! I had no idea that 5 girls would be that loud. They were like wild Indians....wresting, putting their legs over the stair banisters, trying to pull each others pants down....uh yeah. lol The one little girl is older but M knows her from daycare/before&after care so she came too. I let her log on the computer to show M this girl thing that she wanted her to join. I'm not too big on it so I sat there the whole time supervising and the little girl did not want to get off the computer. I had to make her go outside with the rest of us.

All of the girls had fun and M was just so thrilled to have all of her friends over! After everyone left The Husband played princess monopoly with M and A. The game was over.....M was getting tired, A text her brother and I could tell she wasn't to sure about staying the night. I asked if she wanted to call her mom and she did. She is on a antibiotic for a sinus infection and she said its giving her a rash so she wanted to go home. They only live like 3 miles away so her dad came and got her around 10pm. M was disappointed and I realized that I will need therapy whenever M starts dating because I feel her pain very clearly. I was sad for her. I tried to remind her (and myself) that M wont stay at any one's house yet so its not a big deal.

Saturday morning came and we were getting ready to go shopping, run errands and get groceries when A's mom called and asked if M wanted to come over for the day. She said that A wasn't done playing and would love to have M come hang out. So I asked which she would rather do....go there or come shopping with me and she chose to go there. I dropped her off at 10:30am and she stayed until 6pm! I went shopping all day by myself and got to look at every-thing-in-the-store! lol The Husband was working but got home shortly before I did so we hung out for a little bit alone before M got home. M had her cell phone (yes, she is 7yrs old with a phone) so we talked several times that day to see if she was ready to come home and I talked to A's mom too. I think I was ready for her to come home before she was.

It was a nice day and it made up for the disappointment of no real sleepover at the party.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T09:57:00.002-04:00

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!

I love reading your posts about you and your kiddo's.....the good and the bad.

Have a relaxing-do whatever you want-kind of day!!

Pilates FYI

2009-05-07T21:08:00.000-04:00

I know alot of people out in Blogland are in to exercising so I wanted to pass this info along.....

Question: How do I know how many calories I burn doing Pilates? Does it count as cardio or strength training?

Expert Answer:Your Pilates workout is a great way to improve general fitness, and will definitely burn some extra calories--but not as many as traditional aerobic exercise. And it won't provide the same cardiovascular conditioning benefits as aerobics, even if it does elevate your heart rate quite a bit. Aerobic exercise has heart-healthy effects because of the unique way it forces the cardiovascular system to provide extra oxygen and blood flow to the muscles. So, we encourage people NOT to replace traditional aerobic exercise (running, walking, biking, etc.) with other things that serve different purposes. Better to do both, if possible. SparkPeople's cardio tracker doesn't estimate calories burned for things like Pilates and weight training because it's almost impossible to estimate how many calories a given person would be burning due to the many individual variables involved. Since any stock formula is bound to be significantly off for the majority of people who use it, and since overestimating calories burned is just as unhelpful as underestimating calories eaten, we recommend that people just consider the calories burned by these kinds of activity as "extra" calories they are banking for those days when things don't quite go as planned.

*Info taken from email from Spark People