Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Head over to these blogs to see more Wordless Wednesday..... Three Peas in a Pod and Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Homemade Beef Stroganoff

Head on over to Balancing Beauty and Bedlam to check out some great recipes for Tasty Tuesday. I found this recipe years ago and thought it was a great variation to the Hamburger Helper I had been making. Around this time I decided to expand our menu and make more homemade food. We love it and I hope you enjoy too!

1 (12 ounce) package egg noodles, cooked and drained
1 onion, chopped (I use onion powder because I dont like onions...this means I skip the butter too and just season the ground beef with the powder)
1/4 cup butter
2 pounds lean ground beef
4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups beef broth
1 cup sour cream
salt and black pepper to taste

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Cook egg noodles in boiling water until done. Drain.

Meanwhile, prepare the sauce. In a large skillet, cook onions in 2 tablespoons of butter over medium heat until soft; remove from pan.
Using the same pan, melt remaining butter. Cook ground beef in melted butter until browned. Mix in flour. Stir in beef broth, and cook until slightly thickened. Add onion mixture; stir in sour cream. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Continue cooking until sauce is hot, but not boiling. Serve sauce over egg noodles.

Monday, September 28, 2009

A battle in the mind

So last night when I was wide awake at 1am I thought about blogging. And then I thought about not blogging. That made me think about what I really wanted to do with this blog. As you all know I am in the middle of a nervous breakdown. I feel like I have no control over anything and I don't like it. I have insomnia. I've never had insomnia....I am a sleeper. Sleepers don't lie awake hours after the rest of the house has gone to sleep. Sleepers don't lay on the sofa at 1am watching mindless TV.

So right now I am trying to decide if I want to keep this blog all sunny or if I want to make it real life. I am leaning towards making a private blog and just saying what I need to say and hoping the answers come to me through my writing. The only problem with that is.....I'm talking to myself and I barely keep up with this blog. It would be non existent if I started another one.

Yet another life decision. ha! (as if they were all that easy)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Happy Birthday to ME!! (and a special gift)

Another year older, another year wiser....right?

My mom took the day off work and we went shopping. We had planned to go further away but I had to be back to get M from school so we went where my mom lives. We just kinda browsed the stores. I have birthday money to spend and couldn't find anything I liked. Isn't that how it always is? I wont even tell you about me searching every store in this city for a pair of jeans. That would take way too long ;)

We had lunch and just talked. This was the first time my mom and I have been alone....just me and her since Madison was born. It was nice. I came home and The Husband ordered pizza (we will go out this weekend for a nice dinner) and he (and M) also made me a cake. Red Velvet, my fave!!

Now lets talk about something special.

To cut to the mom was by my grandfathers side every second in his last week. Remember I was having a miscarriage that week so I wasn't there and it still hurts me that it happened that way. So he died on June 5 and my mom was talking to him about how my nieces birthday was June 10 and she would take him to her house so he could celebrate with us. At this point we didn't think he would die. He literally took a turn for the worse in 12 hrs and that was it. So they are talking about birthdays and he said Helen's birthday was July something......Helen is a little old lady that he met in his assisted living apartment where he lived after my grandma died. Then the conversation went on to M's birthday and my birthday being in Sept, etc. Later on my mom was going to the gift shop and my grandpa told her to get a birthday card. My mom bought it and gave it to him.....the whole time she is thinking it was for Helen.

It was for me. And she saved it for me until today. It wasnt for M, it wasnt for Helen, or my cousin who has a birthday a day before was for me.
Inside it says.....
Happy Birthday
Love, Grandpop

The Lil part is because my grandparents ALWAYS called me Lily. Noone knows why, they just did and it was special to me. I can still hear my grandmother saying Lil in my head all the time and she died 5 yrs ago. Lil upset me more than getting the card. He also put his last money he had in his wallet in the card. I feel like I should spend that on something special.

I didn't open the card until I got home because my mom told me it would upset me. She was right.....I cant think about it without fighting tears. I miss my grandparents so much!!
I also have a strong need to have a little girl so I can name her Lily.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Party Update

I know you guys are just on the edge of your seats waiting to hear how the party went. I planned to write this yesterday but the days are getting away from me.

Ok so when we left off it was only Ava coming. The original plans were for the party to just be M's friends and no cousins/sisters/family....just a few friends and mommy and daddy. Well when we saw only Ava was coming we decided that the stepkids would go also. That involved some planning with their mom and switching things around. Ok done.

Until Friday night at 9pm when Brandi and Tanya (sisters) mom calls and says they will be coming. She had told me earlier that she wasn't sure because they had alot of stuff going on that day. Didn't expect her to wait until the last minute, I assumed they weren't coming. Ok, not happy because it just messed up stuff and now we would have to take 2 cars because the stepkids had to go home right after the movie. I got over it because these are M's BFF's and we would make it work.

I order tickets online that night....afterall there is only a few short hours until the party begins. It was opening weekend and I didn't know if it would sell out. We never go to movies right when they come out so I wanted to make sure we got in.

Great, done.

Get up Sat am and get ready for M's first time cheering. 3 kids up, fed, dressed, hair pretty and out the door at 11am but wait......I have a missed call on my phone that I notice as we are walking out the door. (note my new cell doesn't ring loud enough for me!) I listen to the message and its Hannah's mom saying that Hannah couldn't decide if she wanted to come to the party or not and she just decided that morning that she wanted to. OH REALLY? I was not happy. I also know that Hannah was only coming because Tonya decided to come (these 2 are drama-ish mean girls that I don't really like but tolerate) I am ranting and raving on the way to the game. I was Team Mom at the game which means I had to take all the little girls to the bathroom if they had to again preoccupied. Let's not forget The Husband and 2 step kids that I am trying to enjoy the game with while being proud of my shy baby cheering!

Hannah's mom had called again. I tell The Husband that I need to call this woman back so she doesn't bother me. He said not to worry about it that I am busy etc. We get home at 1pm and kids are to arrive at 1:30. 1:40 and the sisters get here. Movie starts at 2:20 and we have a 20 min drive.

Ok we are waiting for Ava. Car pulls up and we are ready to leave. Oh wait, its not Ava....its HANNAH! WTF? I was not in the mood for this and these people were kinda ruining my day. So I had to be a Witch. I go out and I'm like uh hi. The father says blah blah the mother had called several times and I corrected him by saying she called 2 times that morning (she was right there in the car) and we were at Cheer. I told him that since they didn't RSVP I didn't have a ticket for Hannah. He asks if he can give me money for her ticket. Smoke is coming out my ears at this point because this family is acting so entitled......the kid decides hours before the party and the dad wants to buy her in while the mother is sitting in the car just staring at me through the window? UGH. It was not about the money. I told him I didn't know if it was sold out and I couldn't risk taking her and not getting her in. It was a very awkward confrontation and I was glad to see Ava's mom pull up. I went to get stuff from her and she saw what was going on. She kept telling me not to feel bad because they didn't RSVP......the kid is right in the car and I'm sure she thinks this is all MY fault she isn't going.

This is long enough.....they gave me a card and said they would just go. We got to the movies right as the previews were ending so we didn't miss anything. M got to pick where she wanted (up front, blah) and had a good time. I cried during the movie because I was emotionally exhausted. Got home, kids played, opened gifts, felt bad that Hannah gave a $20 gift card.....furious these parents put me in this position. Kids left, Ava stayed for dinner and left at of all.............

M told me at the end of the day that I was the best mommy in the world.
(I still feel bad though)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Busy Weekend ahead!

Today I am cleaning....ok well right now I am watching The View because Kate (J+K+8) is on....but there is cleaning going on today.

Day 2 of Unemployment is going better than Day 1. Yesterday it kinda hit me that this was for real. The control freak in me really didn't like that. So I cried. What else is there to do? :)

So the stepkids come over today then in the morning M's first game is at 11:30 so we need to be ready to leave by 11am. I am soooo excited to see her cheer tomorrow. We should be home by 1pm, luckily, because her party starts at 1:30pm. You know the party that STILL only 1 person RSVPed too. We wont even talk about that though. I am sad for her and pissed off at the stupid parents. RSVP means say yes or no, either way. Idiots. This is like 5 different parents. U-G-H.

Ok back on at 1:30, leave for movies that start at 2:20. Take stepkids home so they can go to church Sunday am. Sunday we will pick them up from church on our way to a family cookout/get together that is an hour away.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


In about 2 hrs I will be unemployed. I'm leaving around 2:30 to pick Madison up from school. I have already reduced her hours at daycare to part time. She will go 2 days a week in order to keep her spot. She really enjoys getting up more 5:50am for her, now its 7am or even later! We may have to tell the cat whats going on though. The Husband leaves around 6am for work and we would all be up by that time anyway. Welllll the cat didnt get the memo that M and I dont have to get up that early anymore. This morning after The Husband left he was doing anything he could to make noise and wake me. On my dresser, on my bed, batting things around. I took my pillow to swat him away. (Dont worry I didnt actually hit him!)

Tomorrow I will drop the child off at school and then head to Target to waste time until my dentist appt at 10:45.

I need to clean the house and the car before Saturday in case any of these kids show up to the party. GRRR! The 1 is coming, 1 said they couldnt, 2 were a maybe but then yesterday on the field trip one of the sisters said the reasons they maybe couldnt have came was cancelled soooo who knows, then we have the 2 other last minute invites I sent out......1 keeps asking if she can bring her older sister. Uh no! Havent heard anything from those parents.

PSA: Please RSVP to parties!!
(I will keep you updated, for sure!)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I have the sadz

and they just wont go away.

I have 2 more working days until I am unemployed. Yeah, yeah its good because I may find a job that I like but it still sucks. Something happened on Friday that really upset me at work but I'm not even gonna waste my energy to type it and bore you. I just want to be done and get on with the next chapter of my life.

I don't do change.

Ive talked about this before but it still bothers me that I don't have a BFF. I miss my old one who chose the party life. The one who wants to call herself my BFF....I just don't connect with her for many reasons. We are friends but it just isn't there. So why do I get all jealous when she is talking on FB to another friend about hanging out. I push people away and I want to stop doing that but I haven't met anyone lately that I click with.

Madison's party is Saturday. Oh good, we aren't having it around her Sept 6 birthday so she will be in school longer and it will work out better. Uh yeah, wrong. First she is having it at the movies and we are seeing Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.....they STILL haven't released the showtimes yet. I just asked for the kids for 4hrs and we will work around a time and they can play the other time. OK whatever, the invites go out with the 4hr time. 2 sisters haven't said no but its 90% they aren't coming because they have a game that day, a cousin party and their sister's birthday was to go to the movies that evening. Just say no already....ugh. Hannah probably wont come because one of the sisters is the only one she knows.....haven't heard from her mom yet. Ashton's mom called today and said they were going out of town that weekend to see a football game. She was allowed to invite 5 girls because, including herself, that would be all that would fit in my Pilot. Ava is coming and that's it. That makes me sooooo sad for her. I am sending in 2 more invites tomorrow to 2 other little girls. Who cares if they only have a weeks notice. What are they going to say? No wont hurt anything at this point.

AF is due Friday so I'm sure thats contributing to my sadz but good grief......I just feel like I'm in a transition stage of life and have no idea where to go or what to do. I hate not being in control.

Add to that the fact that we had company today and an ADORABLE 3 mo old baby girl was at my house most of the day. I wanted her.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Always go with the first answer...

I weigh myself on the Wii every 2 weeks, on Saturday morning before I eat anything. Its just a automatic thing I do now....pee then Wii.

So on this lovely Saturday morning it said I LOST 9.9 LBS!! 9.9, that's like 10lbs.

Hmm this sounds good but I knew it was too good to be true. I haven't been exercising since school started.

I get on again to weight myself and it tells me that there is an object on the board (or something) because it is detecting a 10.6 difference.


I should have stopped the first time and bragged for the next 2 weeks about the 10 lbs I lost. Sure I would have been sad in 2 weeks to see a huge gain day at a time, right?

Friday, September 11, 2009


On this day, 8 years ago, I was holding a 5 day old baby in my arms.
She got up for her bottle, I made it and sat down to feed my tiny little bundle of joy. I turned on the TV and started watching something like Good Morning America.
Then it happened!
Breaking News!!
I watched as the country was in Awe and Shock of what just happened. As I'm watching I see the second plane hit. OMG surely I just didn't witness that. All those people, the families, the people in the city. I cried and cried. I hugged my newborn tightly as I wondered what kind of world I just brought her into.

I will never forget.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Healthy Role Model

Amber is hosting EM:ME again this week and her question is....

How are you being a healthy role model for your children?

(I am also linking this up to Works for me Wednesday over at We are that family because the tip at the end does work for me)

Within the last year I just started watching what I ate and looking at calories.....before I was "That Girl" that could eat whatever she wants. (no that's not why I picked my name) In the beginning I really tried to not talk about weight or dieting in front of M. She is an impressionable little 8 yr old that does not need to worry about that kind of stuff. Since she loves to be right by my side at all times she did see me looking at calories and was intrigued by the new scale. I had never owned a scale in my life but for some reason I just needed to know how much I weighed. I do regret buying it and see it going in the yard sale pile. I can weigh myself on Wii Fit, if needed.

So I slowly began to be more careful until she realized I wasn't worried about it anymore. Or so she thought. I do still look at calories but only when I know she isn't looking.

Over the summer I started a new thing to try to get M to eat healthier. She doesn't like fruits or veggies. (I don't do cooked veggies....mush factor) I cant say that she doesn't like the stuff its more that she isn't willing to try it. I began eating more things like squash and just trying new things to set an example for her. I told her that when we went grocery shopping she could pick a fruit or veggie to try and that she had to eat it before she could get a snack in the evening. She didn't really enjoy it but now she knows what squash, watermelon, and cucumber taste like. She also ate her regulars of apples and bananas. She didn't have to eat alot, just enough for me to see she actually tried it. Like 1 cucumber slice each night for a whole week. Oh yeah each new item lasted for a whole week. In the past few weeks I have been kinda lax on this with school and cheer starting.....this is a reminder to get back into it.

I want her to grow up and be a healthy young lady!

Monday, September 07, 2009

Not enough hours in the day....

give me a few weeks of being unemployed and that may change. I may be bored out of my mind.

I haven't checked in on any blogs since Friday....its now Monday night and I don't see me having time to catch up.

I want to blog.
I have lots to blog about.
I just can not find the time to actually do it.

M is going on week 3 of 3rd grade. I think this may be the toughest year yet. She has always gotten straight A's and been an excellent student. This year they change classes for some subjects and she doesn't like her Math teacher. Shes never not liked a teacher but she said this one is very strict. It may be an interesting year. It is taking quite a bit of time to do her homework each night also. There is a mandatory reading of at least 20 mins, 6 days a week. She has already had a Social Studies test too. I don't think they are playing around this year. lol

Add on to that her cheerleading that started last week. Practice is 2 nights a week and a game every Saturday. They will compete in competitions in Nov. At the beginning of the first practice she was doing the moves but not saying anything. I mouthed to her that she needed to talk the end of the practice she was doing it all. I was very proud of her and she loved it! When she entered Kindergarten she wouldn't even look at you she was so painfully this is HUGE!

We had our family party this weekend for The Husband, M and my step dad. The Husbands birthday was Friday but we had already celebrated it the weekend before. Sunday was M's birthday and the highlight of her day was not riding in a booster seat anymore. OMG she thought she was 16 or something. We have a family tradition of the birthday person picking where they want to eat and she picked Applebee's. Long gone are the days of McDonald's......

Friday, September 04, 2009

I said:

you do what you have to cant always be fun.

As if he didn't already know that. When you want a baby you will even stand on your head.

(this makes me giggle today)

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

There's something wrong with this.....

So The Duggars can have NINETEEN kids and I cant even have TWO? (biological)

what the?

Religion or no religion these people are a bit much. It doesn't seem like they plan on stopping either. Wow! I bet she has to be on bedrest the whole pregnancy or else the baby would just fall out. *I know that wasn't nice*

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

It's a par-tay!

all month of September will be filled with lots and lots of birthday parties. Sounds exciting huh? Not really, its actually kind of draining.

4- The Husband
6- M
8- stepfather
15-grandfather....this will be the first birthday since he died so I wanna try to be with my mom
16- M's aunt
18-my friend
19-another friends husband
23-mine and my aunt got married on my birthday so its also their anniv.
30-another friend
you get the point! Its a good thing I wont have a job in 9 more days! ;) (I laugh now but may cry later)

So there you go, that's the reason for the Happy birthday background. I know you were wondering. lol