Growing up my family wasn't an 'I love you' speaking family. I know people that still tell their family that they love them when they hang up the phone and I'm always kind of jealous of that. I tell my husband and daughter that I love them but no one else. Wanna hear something bad? When Madison goes to spend the night with my mom I feel weird telling M I love her in front of my mom, so sometimes I don't. How stupid is that? I know, its pretty stupid. I couldn't tell you the last time I told my mom or brother that I loved them. Or even my ill grandfather! When my grandmother had a stroke I did make sure to tell her that I loved her because I knew it wouldn't be long before she was gone.
I'm pretty sure this issue stems from my dad telling me that he loved me just mere hours before he died (accidental death) and I didn't say it back to him. I carry huge guilt from that. So you would think that would make me want to tell everyone that I love them because I know that life can end at any second. I learned that the hard way, 2 weeks after my 17th birthday.
Sometimes I just don't make sense. I know this is kinda deep. I tend to get deep when I PMS, lol. It just seems so frivolous but I cant make myself say I love you.
Book Club Beginnings
1 day ago