Tuesday, February 03, 2009

I love you.......

Growing up my family wasn't an 'I love you' speaking family. I know people that still tell their family that they love them when they hang up the phone and I'm always kind of jealous of that. I tell my husband and daughter that I love them but no one else. Wanna hear something bad? When Madison goes to spend the night with my mom I feel weird telling M I love her in front of my mom, so sometimes I don't. How stupid is that? I know, its pretty stupid. I couldn't tell you the last time I told my mom or brother that I loved them. Or even my ill grandfather! When my grandmother had a stroke I did make sure to tell her that I loved her because I knew it wouldn't be long before she was gone.
I'm pretty sure this issue stems from my dad telling me that he loved me just mere hours before he died (accidental death) and I didn't say it back to him. I carry huge guilt from that. So you would think that would make me want to tell everyone that I love them because I know that life can end at any second. I learned that the hard way, 2 weeks after my 17th birthday.

Sometimes I just don't make sense. I know this is kinda deep. I tend to get deep when I PMS, lol. It just seems so frivolous but I cant make myself say I love you.

3 comments:

~~Mel~~ said...

You are not alone my friend. For me it's just that I don't think of it...so stupid, because I want everyone to know how much I really do care about them.

Jen said...

We're not an I love you family either. But I DO tell my kids I love them everyday. Growing up, it was understood and known that everyone loved everyone in the family, we just never said it out loud.

Southerner said...

I didn't go a day without hearing it. I think I freaked my MIL out when I said it to her. She shows no feelings- she will buy you anything, she will give you the shirt off her back, but she doesn't express her love.