Friday, March 20, 2009

Lexapro free

I haven't really talked about 'real life' stuff on here yet because I didn't know where I wanted to go with this blog. So far it has just been a place where I write down my many random thoughts. But this is my blog and it is real life so........

I have been on Lexapro for about a year. I was depressed and just blah, plus I was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from a fatal accident that I was in (I was a passenger in a car that hit someone head on and killed the person). So yeah I have tons of anxiety.

My Dr prescribed anti-depressant after anti-depressant and none of them seemed to help. Finally we settled on Lexapro and I felt G-R-E-A-T. Well I become immune to medicine or something because they always quit working. My anxiety creeped back in so my Dr gave me some kind of (forget the name) pill that I take if I am having an anxiety attack and it works right away. He doesnt give the anxiety pill out in a refill-able (made up word) amount because he said it can become addictive. Wonderful, that’s all I need!

Fast forward to a few months ago and I don’t really feel the Lexapro is working anymore. I researched natural remedies for anxiety online and decided I was going to try Kava Kava. Around this time I also started exercising everyday and just trying to take control of my life. In the beginning of March I went off the Lexapro and honestly I have felt great since. I have laughed more this month than I can remember. I honestly just feel happier than I have in a long time. TMI but my sex drive is back, which is good for a couple who is TTC. Everything is just peachy!

EXCEPT for the panic attacks. I have been trying yoga, deeeeeeep breathing and talking myself out of it and that seems to be working. I am so amazed at some of my triggers though. The Husband and I were talking about it last night. He feels like when I can not control something that’s when I start panicking. I know I have control issues (lol) but I think he may be right. If something is out of my control it stresses me out. Not normal stress out, more like full on freak out. Some things are always going to be out of my control so I am just going to have to learn to deal with them. This should be interesting! My attacks have quadrupled since stopping the Lexapro so I’m not sure if this is from weaning or if this is how life really is without it. Either way I feel like its time that I face this stuff head on. I hate breathing heavy. I hate feeling like I can’t catch my breath. I hate feeling like there is 1000lbs on my chest.

I have an amazing husband who has stood by me through some very moody times and a great daughter who I am truly blessed to have. What else do I need? I can do this!

So, there you go…..your first real glance into who I am.


jewelstreet said...

You won the circus tickets! Can you email me cause you didn't leave an email.

Staci said...

hey Missy! Email me.... If you want :)

Anonymous said...

Good luck with your medicate. I hope you find a solution that works for you.

I find real life usually has a way of sneaking into your blog.

Ann On and On... said...

Boy do I know. I feel your pains. It is courageous of you to talk about it. You will find there are a lot of people in the same boat...trying to deal with anxiety.

Busprione (something like that)is suppose to work well.

On another note:
Welcome to the SITS-ahood! We are happy to have you! Jump over to my blog, click the GIVEAWAY tab....I have 2 going on right now.

Mamarazzi said...

ya know sooner or later we all start sharing real life stuff on our blogs. you never now who is going to read this and become a close friend to see you through the tough times or someone who can totally relate...the beauty of it!

I am here to welcome you to SITS. You are going to love being part of this amazing community of women. So welcome to the SITStahood!!

OH and I am having a giveaway on my blog come check it out...scroll down a little it's a couple posts in ;)

Tanielle said...

Hey there! I completely understand! I think it is great to get to know the real side of others, plus it's like a support system. Good luck with everything. Sometimes life is tricky!

I hope you have a great weekend, and keep on laughing.

WPMomOf2 (jen) said...

I have suffered from panic attacks in teh past. I was on Zoloft for two years and loved it but weaned off. A year or two later, I tried Lexapro, but only for two months because i got pregnant. There are some great books out there that really really helped me with panic attacks--without meds! GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

Sarahlcc♥ said...

You're working hard to manage your anxiety! My problem is situational ~ airplanes. I have to deep breath almost the entire time, and why won't they let you listen to music when you take off and land? That's the worst part! A little Secret Garden would go miles for helping me relax. Thank you for sharing your 'real life,' it's a great encouragement to hear how others are dealing ~ and continuing to walk forward.

That Girl said...

Jen, what are the names of the books that helped you out?

Thanks guys!!

~~Mel~~ said...

Hey Chickie, I've watched you struggle with this for years and I just wish there was some way I could wave a magic wand and take away all of your anxiety! Hang in will get through this...I know it seems impossible at times but you are such a strong person who has had to deal with so much in their life.

Love ya!